Aug 20, 2009  •  In Facebook, Relationships, Twitter, Web

You’re No Longer My Internet Friend

Pregnancy hormones are not fun. I have been extra-sensitive lately with the littlest things setting me off.

The latest in the series of dramas – some of which I’m sure are only in my head – involve a couple of internet friends. Recently I found out that someone I had considered a good friend (at least in internet standards) de-friended me on Facebook. I know she is still around, because I can see her commenting on others’ status updates, photos, etc. However, now she has set her settings so that I do not even have the option of requesting to be her friend again, let alone shoot her a message to see if something’s wrong.

Now, I have just discovered that another person I considered a friend has unfollowed me on Twitter. Not only has she un-followed me, she has blocked me.

What did I do wrong? Do I have an annoying internet persona? Did I write something that was offensive?

The beauty and the curse of the internet is the anonymity it allows its users. If these were people I knew in real life, I would know almost immediately if they were trying to shut me out of their lives. If these were people I knew in real life, I might try to hunt them down to see where the relationship turned sour. If these were people I knew in real life, I would at least have mutual acquaintances who could give their objective views.

Perhaps these people do have valid reasons for de-friending/un-following me. I only wish I knew the reason why. I feel like they took the cowardly route by choosing to ignore my existence with a few clicks of the button with no prior warning, with no way of getting in touch with them without the involvement of third parties (aka mutual friends/followers).

…Or maybe they weren’t my friends to start with.

Have you ever gotten upset over losing an internet friend?

7 Responses to “You’re No Longer My Internet Friend”

  1. Perhaps Twitter discovered that your friend was a “Bot” and deleted him/her?

  2. Geek in Heels:

    Nope, she’s definitely a person – we used to have some mutual Twitter friends so I can still see her interacting with them.

  3. Ouch. I have been in a similar situation and it was bewildering. I re-read all my tweets, worried about whether I had offended them, and just felt generally awful. And I wasn’t pregnant. :)

    The worst occurred a few months ago, when one of the co-bloggers on the group blog I helped found unfollowed me. We’ve been internet friends for years. Midway through that period, we were both panelists at a lit conference in NYC, and I actually got to meet him, and spend two hours with him. I genuinely adored him after that. When he got sick, I lit candles for him at St. Pat’s; I was so worried about him. Beyond all that, we worked together on something, about which we both tweeted!

    No exaggeration, I was blue for a few days. He was someone I respected, was that feeling not mutual? Since when? Why? It hurt. And like you I felt like it was cowardly on their part, and a little bit cruel that I couldn’t reach out and seek clarification without involving innocent third parties. I thought I had been a better friend, that I deserved more than to be treated like that.

    You’re not alone.

  4. Boo! I don’t have many internet friends…so I’ve yet to have that happen to me. BUT, I am following someone that I really admire…yet she doesn’t follow me…and it kinda stings…lol

    Pregnancy hormones are powerful things (just as my husband!), so try be gentle on yourself right now. And although it doesn’t feel like it sometimes, try to remember that “it’s the hormones” and not you that makes you take things uber seriously, or something silly p*sses you off. This too shall pass, and you’ll be back to your old self :)

  5. Yeah, it’s a strange new social construct, isn’t it? I was blocked on twitter by someone whom I had a handful of friends in common with, and had only had a few interactions with, but it was still pretty unbelievable. Definitely not the same as your situation(s), but it was impossible for me not to take it personally. I tend to be hypersensitive about those things anyways, and usually assume that I must have done something wrong, but in my head I know that’s not true. It makes me feel better to think about the online (and real, for that matter) friendships I’ve made that I know are quality and genuine. Makes it a bit easier to move on from the hurt :)

  6. oh I totally know what you mean. Someone who I admire and respect had been a twitter follower/friend of mine for a while… I met this person at an event honoring their business which I travelled to support and attend. We would tweet alot, even DMing each other to have further convos from time to time, and then all of a sudden a month or so ago I realize this person has unfollowed me. :(

    I don’t know if it was something I said or did but I often wonder if it was… it makes me sad because as I said this person is someone I really admire and look up to. sigh

  7. CaitStClair:

    This probably doesn’t apply to your situation, but the only person I have unfriended was a younger girl I went to high school with although we were never really friends. I did it because she did so many of those quizzes and facebook applications it flooded out the updates that I actually wanted to see. I got tired of blocking individual ones so I just unfriended her. I’m not sure if she noticed or not.
    Anyways, the only thing I can think of is maybe you updated often enough that it bumped down her friends who don’t post frequently too quickly? I have no idea.
    Either way, that sucks and it’s not just the pregnancy hormones causing that. I think anyone would be hurt by it.

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