Nov 5, 2009  •  In Personal, Relationships

The Need to Impress

Six years ago on this exact date, a boy asked a girl if she would like to go check out an all-you-can-eat sushi joint. They had been friends for ages — and best friends for the past few months — so the proposed plan did not seem out of the norm. However, they found that upon calling/texting/IMing mutual friends, no one else was available to join them for dinner.

The girl shrugged her shoulders as if to ask “Why not?” and proceeded with the plans. They would have a lovely dinner, just the two of them, as friends.

Three hours later it was clear that they were not just friends, as the boy had made “the move” and the girl had readily accepted.

On a dark and stormy night some three and a half years later, the boy got down on one knee and asked the girl if she wouldn’t mind spending the rest of her life with him. A year later, they got hitched. And currently, the girl sits in front of her laptop, typing out this story.

I know we no longer celebrate this date, but happy dateaversary all the same.  :-)


Soon after we first started dating. We look so young!

Isn’t it funny how time flies? It may have been a full six years, but the events of November 5th, 2003 are etched forever into my memory and I can still remember it as if it were yesterday.

I was telling J the other day that after all this time, I still feel the need to impress him.

“Isn’t that a bad thing?” he asked. “You should feel completely comfortable with me — I’m your husband!”

I then realized that my need to impress him is different than it had been many years ago. When we first started dating, I wanted him to only see the best of me. I would force myself to be the best that I can be whenever he was around.

In other words, I wanted him to think that I was hot sh*t when I was just cold diarrhea.

I no longer care if J sees me without makeup, with horrible morning breath, or donning my ugliest, most unflattering pieces of clothing. I no longer make him sing loudly whenever I need to pee while he’s in the shower…I even sometimes *gasp* leave the bathroom door open while taking a piss!

This isn’t to say that I always look like crap when we’re home alone. I still like to doll up on occasion, and I love the look in his eyes as he first sees me step out of the bedroom after my primping ritual has come to an end.

In fact, it is these occasions that mean the most to me…

…because his approval matters most.

I seek J’s approval not only in matters of appearance, but with all aspects of my life. After I have slaved away in the kitchen making a (hopefully) delicious meal. After finishing a new design or a new piece of code for work. And yes, even after writing a new blog post.

Am I implying that I am a brainless bimbo who can’t think for herself? Of course not. What I am trying to say is that J is the most important person in my life; ergo, his opinion the one I value the most.

And let me tell you; it is damn hard to get this guy’s approval. He is a QA engineer by trade. It’s his job to break down and break apart materials and ideas that others have meticulously labored over. He’s not the type to gloss things over just to make someone feel better, so I know that when he gives his seal of approval, I really did do a good job.

After explaining all this to him, I added, “So no, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I think it’s a good thing, wouldn’t you say?”

All he did in response was give me his trademark, “I love this woman and I feel so lucky to be with her” smile.

And I knew my answer had impressed him.

What about you? Do you feel the need to impress your significant other?

6 Responses to “The Need to Impress”

  1. Yes to a certain extent.

    For him to be proud of me, as proud as I am of him for being who he is

    :) We still get into major fights, the closer we seem to bond, but I still care about what he thinks for everything

    and vice versa

  2. Andrew:

    In honor I will marathon the Back to the Future trilogy. At the very least I will watch 1 and 2.

  3. my gosh, you summed that up beautifully! That’s pretty much how I feel. Of course his opinion matters, but I feel unbelievably comfortable around him; I can be myself completely. He’s seen me at my worst and puts up with it…even morning breath and ratty underwear.

  4. I still celebrate that early date in my husband and I’s history!

  5. greenellephant:

    wow. i got here through the “see also..” links from the tesco post and couldn’t believe how long ago that day we all went to see the cherry blossoms was but it also feels like yesterday… being young, meeting boys etc.. hehe. you guys look like babies in that pic. amazing.

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