Nov 28, 2009  •  In Personal

Shiny Happy People Piss Me Off

Sometimes I fear that there is something dreadfully wrong with me, because happy people piss me off.

Share a rant, and I’ll be there to defend you. Tell a sob story and I’ll run over with tissues. But gush on and on about how fantastic life is? Not only do I find you boring, I’ll eventually come to see you as an annoying scab whose very sight makes me want to vomit.

“Seeing you so happy makes me unhappy.”

I like to think that I’m a good person. I obey the law, practice good manners, and have high morals. So why can’t I stand these happy people?

Some call these people “refreshing” and “delightful.” I call them “tiring,” because spending an entire day with them really drains me of my own energy.

Admit it — you know these people too. People whose pure exuberance fills them with bouncy joy day in and day out. People whose Facebook statuses are only updated with feel-good messages. People who act like Jehovah’s Witnesses on crack.

On one hand, you question their sincerity and genuinity. No one can be that happy, you think. You look for a chink in their armor. You tell them that horrifyingly tragic story of the 12-year-old girl with no legs forced to turn tricks in order to pay for her brother’s open-heart surgery because the people of their village kicked them out on the streets for having a funny-sounding last name. Yes, THAT ONE which can bring any optimist to question, “What has the world gone to?” Except THIS person who responds with a hug and the perfect thing to say in this situation (which even I can’t dream up), in addition to the plans for a foundation dedicated to helping this poor girl and her brother, and all others like them.

The fact of the matter is that the world NEEDS people like this just like it needs its villains. And I can’t fault them for who they are, just as I can’t discriminate against people who like their coffee black, because that’s just how they were wired.

So for the time being, I will silently seethe, trying my very darndest not to jump up from my seat, grab ahold of their arms, and shake them while screaming, “STOP BEING SO HAPPY!”

Anyone care to join me?

17 Responses to “Shiny Happy People Piss Me Off”

  1. Amanda:

    Marvins and Eeyores unite! I’m with you, I don’t do perky. I think momentarily giddy is about as close as I get and that’s usually after no sleep and too much caffeine.

    • Amy:

      I only get giddy. But, I have constant mood swings. Though, I always find myself going from angry to depressed more than hyper. XD

  2. mindy:

    hi unni!
    i like you honestly share your feelings yet acknowledge the need for them to balance out the "villains"…
    I also get tired of the too-happy-24/7 people…
    on a similar topic, the having to put up a "happy" face (not overly happy) when i’m not really happy for the sake of socializing and not making a bad rep at school is realllllllly getting tiring.

    i seethe with you!

  3. yikes i hope i never piss you off. :(

  4. Jennifer:

    Some of us just really enjoy life. Is that so wrong?

  5. Geek in Heels:

    @Jennifer — it isn’t wrong. It’s merely my preference…and please keep in mind that this is coming from a pessimistic, sarcastic Debbie Downer.

  6. I totally get where you’re coming from (especially lately). My irritation for the exuberant status updates has skyrocketed, and I’m not sure why (getting older? wiser? (ha) sure). But, I *do* try to keep a healthy positive attitude, regardless. I think maybe what it comes down to is moderation, and maybe that’s why you’re wary of the overwhelming "bouncy joy" – because we’re human and we have more than one emotion.

  7. Jen:

    I don’t mind the super happy people so long as they don’t expect me to be one of them. This really annoyed me with the wedding planning. "Aren’t you SO EXCITED for your wedding?" Planning a wedding is STRESSFUL. A couple of people actually told me I should act all excited and peppy about it even if I don’t feel that way. WTF? Since when do I ever get crazy excited and squealy about anything? It just isn’t me.

    The people that really annoy me are the cruel uber-pessimists who drag everyone down if they say ANYTHING positive and can’t ever find the silver lining. The ones that hate on everything under the guise of "playing devil’s advocate." Those are the people that I just steer clear of in the end.

  8. rickw:

    The world is full of different people, that’s the secret of it’s strength.

    Personally overly happy people get on my last nerve and I know how you feel.
    I will state for the record that if the world was dominated by happy people, I sincerely doubt
    we would be as far ahead scientifically, socially or any other .*lly you could name.

    We strive and gain because of a deep sense of unhappiness, unfairness, pride, and in
    general some daemon that drives us. So the next time some jack off writes that happy
    fulfilled marriages can be traced to smiley high school yearbook pictures consider the following.

    How happy could we be if we were all happy happy people living in caves waiting for fire to happen,
    and having our kids die of some common illness at the age of 3.

    That’s right happy people suck off the rest of us it’s what you do best!
    Yet in the end I suspect we need them as much as they need us … which doesn’t make me happy!

  9. M.C.:

    Dealing with these peppy happy smiley types is really killing me. I mean who the hell walks around smiling all the time at nothing? I’m glad your prozac is working. I don’t care and it doesn’t bother me untill they get me in their crosshairs. Its really a form of psycological violence or asault in my book. Telling me to smile or it isn’t that bad or to lighten up. Don’t tell me how to be. Am I in control of me or are you in control of me? God almighty. And then the more resistance you put up the more they come at you. As I said psycological violence. Give me some space. Most of the time I’m in a quiet even mood. Neither happy or sad or mad or anything really but attentive to what is-untill YOU come around me, bouncing off walls, bumping your gums about all kinds of stuff, violating my personal boundaries, psycoanalyzing me, telling me what to do with my face (smile) and mind (be happy). Now I’m pissed. Then I get pissed that I’m pissed and I lost my equilebrium because YOU came poking at me with a stick. Its all down hill from there. I hope you’re happy.

    • Amy:

      I agree 100% with this comment. I think if you don’t want to smile, then you shouldn’t be made to. These people who keep telling you to smile and so on are control freaks. When someone tries to psychoanalyse me, I glare at them, until they’re freaked out enough o leave me alone. It sometimes works and other times, they become more annoying…

  10. Amy:

    Usually the more positive a person is, the more negative and out of touch of reality they are. Only when I’m in one of my good moods, will i tolerate them. Any other given time, I will bash on them or just tell them to shut up and let me brood. I actually don’t mind being a bit grumpy. It’s better to be moody and realistic, than happy and naive.

  11. Amy:

    Also, what the fuck is “balance”? There’s no such thing as fucking balance. I’m pissed off. There’s no such thing as balance, stability or control. If we all had control, then why does murder occur? Why do people kill themselves? Why does war occur? Everyone suffers from instability. Anyone could nap. Anyone could kill. You sound naïve. Sorry, but you do.

    • Amy:

      Never mind, this was to another thing. Continue. You hate happy people too. So, I like you. The comment above was meant for another blog, where one person was saying “People should just be balanced and stable”. I was replying to that one and realised I was still on this one, like the idiot I am. I’m sorry! -.-

  12. Alec:

    I don’t like happy people. They’re often self-involved and not really willing to help those around them. I especially hate when people in relationships shove it in your fucking face saying “can’t you just be happy for me?”, not comprehending that some people just don’t stumble into good fortune like they do. Happy people should be more attentive, seeing unhappy people and trying to help them be happy too.

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