Jan 12, 2010  •  In Personal, Wedding

I Was a Cookie-Cutter Bride

Recently I have even been called out (in the wedding blog world) for advocating creativity and individuality when my own wedding was so “cookie-cutter.”

I know that making your wedding one-of-a-kind and unique is the trendy thing to do these days. However, J and my wedding was fairly traditional and conservative. 

Thinking back to our wedding day and the months preceding the event, I can think of three explanations why.

Our venue provided everything.
We would’ve had to do additional work, and/or pay extra fees in order to incorporate elements that were unique to our personalities. We knew this was a trade-off when deciding on this venue; however, their food was to die for (people are still talking about how awesome the food was at our wedding!) and in the end, our stomaches and laziness took over.

As much as we wanted to elope, or have a backyard BBQ wedding, our parents would’ve murdered us.
Correction: murdered us in such ways so that there were no conspicuous marks on our bodies, then put on the wedding themselves in the style of Weekend at Bernie’s.

We are actually pretty conservative when it comes to beliefs and core values.
Yes, this may come as a surprise to some, especially since we have such a diverse group of friends. This probably holds true more for J, because I myself was surprised when we first became close and I discovered his conservative standards.

It is for these reasons that we decided to go the traditional route for our wedding, and decided upon the traditional vows. They represented who we are as a couple, not based on others’ perceptions of us.

I resent the term “cookie-cutter wedding” for the same reason people look down upon stay-at-home moms in the name of feminism.

To me, feminism is about having a choice, not about going against the traditional/old feminine roles. In the same way, throwing a kick-ass wedding should not be about going against the traditional norms; rather, it should be about going with your preferences and embracing what works for you and your loved ones.

So if having our wedding in a ballroom, wearing a poofy white dress, and reciting traditional wedding vows is what made me happy and ultimately represented us, who is anyone to look down on us?

8 Responses to “I Was a Cookie-Cutter Bride”

  1. Ed:

    I totally agree with both sentiments (wedding-style and feminism) and have made the same arguments to others in the past.

  2. That seems like a rather unwarranted attack! I think it’s the people that make a wedding unique, not the backdrop, the dress, or the vows. It’s not about how many wedding fads you can squish into your wedding or how many ideas you can find off wedding blogs and incorporate into your special day.

    I hope you won’t take those comments to heart. I read your entries on weddingbee and I thought your wedding was beautiful! More importantly, it was a day filled with happiness for you, J, and your families.

  3. I am with you! :)

    Awesome line: Correction: murdered us in such ways so that there were no conspicuous marks on our bodies, then put on the wedding themselves in the style of Weekend at Bernie’s.

    Anyone can choose to do their wedding however they wish, as long as they know what they’re doing and can truly afford it. I also want to point out that the GROOM should also be on board for whatever you do in the wedding. It’s not just the bride’s day.

  4. People need to stop being so judgmental about weddings and realize that people do what is right for them and their families. The blogosphere is supposed to be a place of acceptance, and lately it’s turning weddings into freaking contests. Your wedding was lovely, those haters can suck it.

  5. Wow, I can’t believe people call you out on that. I also agree about the feminism statement. Women get SO judgmental about that! I thought your wedding was gorgeous! (I’m an old Weddingbee reader.)

  6. Jen:

    that’s just mean! Why do they get to comment negatively on your wedding? I love the feminism comment as well. I know quite a few so-called feminists that still don’t get that it’s about the choice.

  7. I don’t know why anyone would would look down on you or anyone else for this. Weddings are not a contest! And your wedding was gorgeous.

  8. People find ways to denounce and judge others’ choice no matter what. I had the cookie-cutter wedding and it was one of the best decision I’ve made. I am sure the opposite of cookie-cutter weddings, a-la-luxurious, custom weddings are judged harsh too. You can’t win!

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