Jun 9, 2010  •  In Personal, Relationships, Toys

The Shortest Possible Game of Monopoly (And How J Took All Joy Out of the Game)

I used to love the boardgame Monopoly. I really did. My friends and I would play well into the night, and whenever a game looked like it would last longer than our tuckered-out bodies, we would take a picture of the board (so that no one would be tempted to cheat), grab our colorful paper money and head off to bed…only to return to it bright and early the next morning, exactly where we had left off.

Then I met J.

One of my favorite stand-up comics, Russell Peters, says that Chinese people are impossible to do business with because they are some of the cheapest people on the planet and are never willing to give you a bargain.

Well, my husband is Chinese, and nowhere is this stereotype more apparent than when he plays Monopoly.

“I’ll trade you my Mediterranean Ave for your Park Place,” he likes to say.


We don’t play Monopoly quite as much anymore, but
J and I still have four versions of the game in our home.

Although everyone cusses him out for being a cheap bastard, he somehow manages to get his way and is usually left the victor in a no holds barred, merciless game.

And no, J never gives me any preferential treatment for being the love of his life. As the spineless twit who always has to play the nice guy, I’m usually one of the first to go bankrupt and lose the game.

He calls it tough love. I call it ruthless assault on a timid creature.

I no longer enjoy Monopoly as much. Yes, my husband has taken the joy out of a favorite childhood game and he fully acknowledges that fact. However, he still loves to play, and I’m sure he would get a kick out of the following…

Recently, a group of college students have taken it upon themselves to figure out the SHORTEST THEORETICAL game of Monopoly. And they’ve boiled it down to a 4-turn (2 per player), 9 roll (including doubles) game:

Player 1, Turn 1:

Roll: 6-6, Lands on: Electric Company
Action: None, Doubles therefore roll again

Roll: 6-6, Lands on: Illinois Avenue
Action: None, Doubles therefore roll again

Roll: 4-5, Lands on: Community Chest “Bank error in your favor, Collect $200″
Action: Collects $200 (now has $1700)

Player 2, Turn 1:

Roll: 2-2, Lands on: Income Tax
Action: Pay $200 (now has $1300), Doubles therefore rolls again

Roll: 5-6, Lands on: Pennsylvania Rail Road
Action: None

Player 1, Turn 2:

Roll: 2-2, Lands on: Park Place
Action: Purchase ($350, now has $1350), Doubles therefore rolls again

Roll: 1-1, Lands on: Boardwalk
Action: Purchase ($400, now has $950), Doubles therefore rolls again

Roll: 3-1, Lands on Baltic Avenue
Action: Collect $200 for passing GO (now has $1150), Purchase 3 houses for Boardwalk, 2 for Park Place ($1000, now has $150)

Player 2, Turn 2:

Roll: 3-4, Lands on: Chance, “Advance to Boardwalk”
Action: Advance to Boardwalk, Rent is $1400, only has $1300 = Bankrupt

GAME OVER

The entire game can be played in as little as 21 seconds, and you can see proof of it in the video below:

I wonder if this theory can be scientifically proven…

Via haha.nu.

8 Responses to “The Shortest Possible Game of Monopoly (And How J Took All Joy Out of the Game)”

  1. Ax:

    The odds of those rolls being made are 1 in 228 509 902 503 936. That’s a bit worse than winning the 6/49 jackpot two weeks in a row.

  2. Geek in Heels:

    @Ax — Kudos to you for figuring that out!

  3. T:

    you should play "drinking monopoly" like he and I used to, but then you can’t drink. so then maybe you can take advantage of him :)

  4. Geek in Heels:

    @T — Thanks for the suggestion! I can play ANY drinking game with him and just play the pregnant card. Oh the evilness that is running through my mind right now….

  5. Courtney Floyd:

    Haha wow, it often amazes me what people in my age bracket spend their time doing >.<
    but it’s awesome none the less… and no worries, I can hardly play any game with my boyfriend who says he "loves me so much", he sucks the joy out of pretty much all of them and I always lose. We used to play Magic the Gathering quite often but he can’t stand to lose… so he doesn’t. Ruthless blood sucker. Needless to say when he wants to play now he has to play with his guy friends instead of me..

  6. stacey:

    we don’t play risk together anymore… i’m not vicious enough or gutsy enough to keep attacking other countries, i like to hole up in africa. so he beats me, every time, and then i get grumpy about being beaten so badly, and we fight. no more risk. :)

    we have a friend who is just like J in monopoly. he NEVER makes fair trades. and he is stubborn as all get out. i like this shortest game of monopoly idea… :)

  7. Geek in Heels:

    @stacey — I have never liked Risk, for the same reasons you ave stated. However, J loves the game and has been nagging me to play with him ever since we met…but I refuse!

  8. This is NOT the shortest theoretical game, and yes, I can logically prove that the 4-turn, seven-roll version on my blog (http://monopolynerd.wordpress.com) is truly as short as you can get!

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