Jul 6, 2010  •  In Personal, Pregnancy

Smug Pregnant Women

This morning, a fellow pregnant woman on my birthboard caught a lot of flack for posting that pregnant women who are “only” 6 months along should not be waddling or rubbing their bellies in public. She believes that this act is only meant to draw attention to oneselves in order to seek special treatment.

I vehemently disagreed with this statement because I have been waddling slightly since month 4 — my loosening hip joints sometimes really feel like they’re about to pop loose, and waddling eases the pain somewhat. As for rubbing my belly in public, I have found myself doing this more and more often as the intensity of my braxton hicks contractions increase and rubbing helps with the discomfort. In addition, my belly is becoming quite heavy; supporting it with my hands is the easiest option until I finally give in and purchase a maternity support belt.

However, I chose not to voice my opinion to this growing thread because this woman was being thrown insults left and right. I was actually beginning to feel sorry for her and so began to wonder…do some pregnant women act certain ways to act smug and seek special treatment?

The video above, titled Pregnant Women are Smug, caught quite a bit of attention when it was first released a few months ago. While I found it funny and partly true, I was also a bit offended because not all pregnant women act this way.

As a matter of fact, I don’t particularly like discussing my pregnancy ad nauseum. Sure, I’ll talk about it when people ask, but I do not want my pregnancy to define who I am. And I certainly do not expect the world to cater to my condition — I always feel bad whenever someone gives up their seat for me, and I actually dislike it when people treat me like an invalid because I’m pregnant.

This isn’t to say that I do not appreciate these gestures, because I really do! I just don’t mind when the offer isn’t made, because anyone could have their own reasons for not giving up a seat, not offering to carry heavy items, etc.

But that could just be me.

Do you know anyone who is a smug preggo? Do you go out of your way to give pregnant women special treatments? Do you think pregnant women deserve special treatment?

8 Responses to “Smug Pregnant Women”

  1. Nani:

    Coming from the other side when I was prego no one treated me any different, in a way it was a curse and a blessing. Some days my legs were killing me or my back hurt and I wanted to sit down but no one got up. Or at work I used to be an assistant to the director and still have to do alot of the hard work when I had to crawl under tables and put things together. It sucked ass at those times. Other times it was great to not be treated differently, like you I didn’t want my pregnancy to define me just because I was prego doesn’t mean I was broken.

    As for the commenter on the forum, in my first six months I rubbed my belly often, especially when I was thinking about my baby. I don’t think it was to get special attention, most of the time we don’t notice it. I am not not going to say that some prego women don’t act like that. Just like some women seek special treatment because they are pretty or young etc.. there will be prego women who do this as well.

  2. mina:

    coming from someone who has not been pregnant–while i would not want pregnant women to feel like they are being treated like an invalid, i *do* think pregnant women deserve special treatment. it’s a huge physical burden and there is something quite precious at stake. maybe i’d be singing a slightly different tune if most of the pregnant women i came into contact with were actually smug or conceited about their condition, but i have not found that to be the case. i would totally give up my seat for you, and wouldn’t want you to feel badly about it!

  3. Christine:

    I don’t think it’s a necessary requirement that people should automatically treat pregnant women differently, but I think people should understand/be respectful if a woman is pregnant. I went to watch Eclipse at the theater yesterday and had to get up four times to pee, but when I stood up, the women sitting next to me that I had to cross were very understanding. So much so that when a row behind complained about me getting up, one of them turned around and said, "She’s pregnant!" It was nice of her to stick up for me, especially since I’m only 4 months and only barely showing.

    As for rubbing my little bump and waddling, I do them both. I can’t help the waddle. I haven’t gained one pound since my pregnancy (I lost a lot of weight in the beginning thanks to chronic morning sickness), but when I put it back on and got back to my pre-pregnancy weight, I could no longer fit my clothes. My pants wouldn’t button if my life depended on it. As a result, I waddle. I also rub my belly a lot because I have started to feel my baby flip and move around inside of me (no kicking yet). I defintely don’t do it to draw attention. I think my baby likes it. It’s very soothing for me, so I imagine it is soothing for the baby as well.

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  5. C:

    are you kidding me!? of course women deserve a lil extra love & attention!! i think they deserve all the special treatment they can get, considering you’re growing a real human inside of you!

  6. When I was about 8 or 9 months along, I tripped fell on my face (and stomach) and had my hand in a brace, it was annoying to have to stand on the bus clinging on with one arm for my dear life, carrying my work bag, having a gigantic belly in the way of everything and no sense of balance whatsoever. I kind of hoped that the seated young guys would give up their seat for me, but that didn’t happen very often.

    I don’t think I was trying to seek special treatment, but I would have definitely appreciated it. Gaining like 30 pounds in a few months is really hard on the body (as is delivering a baby, but that’s a different subject) and I think pregnant women should be shown some respect (which is lacking in our culture). I don’t think they "deserve" special treatment just because they are pregnant, but I think that non-pregos should be more understanding and accommodating.

    For those pregnant ladies who try to bring attention to their pregnant bellies early in their pregnancy to try to get special treatment, most of them were already like that pre-pregnancy, and being pregnant allows them to be more vocal and demanding.

  7. People notice and give you special attention. Some pregnant women revel in it and think poorly upon others if they aren’t showered with the attention they think they deserve. I’ve seen it, and it isn’t pretty. It’s a small minority, but it definitely taints your opinion of others.
    All I do have to say, though, is enjoy the special attention while you have it. I found that I needed MUCH LESS help as a pregnant lady than I did as the mom of a newborn. People don’t hold doors open for moms, but they do for pregnant ladies. They won’t make sure you’re more than comfy at the restaurant like they did when you had a bump. It’s really quite funny to see how the world changes so quickly around you…

  8. I give up my seat and I don’t expect them to feel obligated or guilty. It’s just being nice because they’re carrying another life in what I feel is a sort of awkward way :P

    Embrace the kindness, just don’t take advantage of it, I guess is what the general populace is saying.

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