Jul 26, 2010  •  In Personal, Pregnancy

A Placeholder Ring for My Sausage Fingers

My pregnancy-induced swelling has reached a point where it has become difficult to take off my wedding ring set at the end of the day.

(I’m not sure why, but I’m always fine at the beginning of the day, only to end up with fat stumpy feet and kielbasa-like fingers come nightfall. Can someone shed some light on this?)

I do not always wear my wedding ring set when I am in the house, but I always wear them when I am out. And yes, i wear both my engagement ring and my wedding band. So the very few times that I’ve forgotten to wear my set has left my fingers feeling naked in public. And there’s the self-conscious part of me wanting to not look like a knocked-up teenager.

I have read that some women buy a cheap ring in a larger size to wear during pregnancy for this exact reason.

Have you, or do you know of someone who has gone this route during pregnancy?

After doing some research on the ‘net, I’ve found a sterling silver, cubic zirconia ring that could be a dead ringer for my wedding ring set:

The only difference is that this ring is one ring while my set consists of two rings. (You can see my engagement ring here. My wedding band is the same exact width and style of the band of my engagement ring.)

However, the fact remains that this “placeholder” ring would cost $42. That’s 42 Dollar Menu items right there, y’all!

One part of me says I’m being silly — why should I spend extra money to let the world know that I’m married for what will most likely be (knock on wood) a few short months? Some have suggested that I put my rings on a chain to wear around my neck, but I would be too paranoid about the chain snapping off.

What would you do? Just forgo wearing rings for the last months of the pregnancy? Buy the $42 “placeholder” ring?

20 Responses to “A Placeholder Ring for My Sausage Fingers”

  1. Is it super important to you that the set look just like your real rings? I wore a fake ring for a few weeks while my engagement ring was at the jewelers and I got it at Claire’s for $8. Maybe something cheaper would work just as well?

  2. Geek in Heels:

    @E — The thought of getting something different from my wedding set (or even take it a step further and get something COMPLETELY different for fun) did cross my mind. But I love my wedding set and I’ve grown so attached to it that now, I can’t imagine any other design to symbolize my being married (at least for me).

  3. GG:

    I am pregnant as well and had to buy a place holder at about 30 weeks. I bought one that was different than my wedding set. It was fun to pick one out that was totally different than my real one. I got a "dream" ring with a big diamond. I actually get compliments on it all the time. I am really looking forward to wearing my real one again, though.

  4. Yeah, my hands swelled (watch out for carpal tunnel rearing its ugly head soon) super badly, and I was without any rings for 2/3rds of my pregnancy. Honestly, 42 dollars can buy bottles, onesies, socks, underwear for you, other things. I truly didn’t give a shit about people thinking I was single and pregnant! Haha. Honestly, now I only wear my wedding band, only putting my e-ring on when we’re out for a fancy party or something. People saw my tan line, so I wasn’t worried. By the end, I was sooo pregnant I didn’t even wear pants without an elastic waist! I dunno, maybe I’m different in that I didn’t care at all about my appearnce!! Hahaha. Like the waxing thing. Apparently I was a hose beast.

  5. LHR:

    My fingers were sausages already at 5 months. I had the same thoughts, but gave up fairly quickly after I couldn’t find a ring I liked. After awhile I stopped caring. Sick thing was that I was getting hit on at 8 months. Exactly 8 months. I have no idea why.

    I could not wait to fit back into my rings after I gave birth though. I actually had to get them sized up a bit though. :(

  6. Helene HT:

    just buy it! i used to buy a whole lot of rings to go with my clothes before getting married. but once i got married, the wedding set is all i wear. but when chances come, i wouldn’t mind just playing around with some other rings for a few weeks. it’s gonna be fun =)

  7. Donna:

    to be honest – I bought a placeholder ring thinking that it woulnd’t last me that long. Wrong! I wore that placeholder ring for the last trimester AND the first four months post-birth because it took that long for my sausage fingers to swell back down. I got myself a $20 eternity band – which was sterling silver and CZ as well.

  8. Emily:

    I plan on getting t a nice gold band from Etsy or something for around $200. But I’d rather have real jewelry that I could wear on another finger afterwards, down the road, than a duplicate of an actual piece that I have. It won’t look near as good as your real wedding set, anyways! And if you had a real piece, you could wear it now, then box it up and give it to your daughter down the road, telling her that it’s the piece of jewelry you wore while carrying her to birth.

  9. Geek in Heels:

    @GG — That’s so funny that I’m seriously considering getting a placeholder ring right now and I’m exactly 30 weeks!

    @Amber — I’ve found that the fatter I get and the more unattractive I feel, the more I have the urge to make myself look pretty…or at least presentable. But that’s just me…I’m the type who, when feeling sick with a fever and runny nose, will put on full makeup and dress up because it helps me feel better!

    @Emily — That’s a great alternative, one that I haven’t thought of! However, I don’t wear any other jewelry than my wedding set and a necklace that J bought for me when we first started dating (the necklace I NEVER take off, even when in the shower) so it would just sit there gathering dust for years and years until I felt that my daughter would be ready for it…and since we already plan on passing down our wedding jewelry to our children (I received a bunch as a part of the Chinese tea ceremony and they’re just sitting in a safety deposit box now) I don’t think that’s the best option for us.

  10. baeshinja:

    i would definitely get it! if it’s really too much and you can sacrifice the resemblance to the real thing, get a less blingy/plain simple band.

    i really do not think it’s a frivolous purchase. i did the same and it’s come in handy when i’m traveling or when i’m really active with my hands. it pays itself off over time. plus it’s a good keepsake; a nice reminder that symbolizes your pregnancy and the changes your body went through.

  11. Go for it! The ring is beautiful and it means a lot to you to have something to wear. Just because you *could* be spending the $42 on something else doesn’t mean you cannot spend it on this!

  12. Personally, I’d forgo it. Cause I’m not big on jewelry anyways and the idea seems a bit odd to me of having a "place holder ring." I’d be probably be busy with the baby and changing diapers to think about a ring.

    that being said, you do what feels best for you.

  13. janet:

    Doesn’t really bother me if people look at me and think I’m a knocked up teenager! Rings just don’t seem important anymore. Most of my friends post-baby have stopped wearing their diamonds all together as they just seem to get in the way. It’s funny to watch some people gush about their big rocks at engagement (or insist on a big 3 carat wonder) only to put it away in a lock box once they have a few kids.

  14. I just used my "camping/workout" ring which is a white gold band and fit better than my diamond ring. I do that a lot though, even when I am not pregnant. When that got tight, I used an adjustable ring that looks like it is made out of a paperclip that I got in Mexico for 10 pesos. I say just get something cheap.

  15. I put my rings away and didn’t wear a placeholder. If people gave me a funny look with that "ah… unwed mother" phrase in their eyes, I’d smile sweetly. It was kinda fun, actually.

  16. Amanda:

    I would buy the placeholder. I understand that you don’t want to be labeled as an unwed teenager (no offense to anyone) I wouldn’t either and I plan on buying a placeholder when the time comes.

  17. sandy:

    I think I’ll probably just get a plain band to wear for the few months that my fingers swell up.

  18. I think a plain gold or silver band, something that’s a solid and real metal and won’t turn your finger green or something, might be a better investment. That way, you can wear it later and not worry about getting baby mess in all the little nooks and crannies in your beautiful wedding band/ering set. I just checked, and silver bands start around $6 on Amazon. Just add it to the cart when purchasing other baby accessories.

  19. Keri Ivy:

    I agree that if continuing to wear a ring is important for you that the best option is an inexpensive plain band. Like someone else said you will get all sorts of unmentionable ickiness in your ring after your baby is born, but also you will find that your real set may scratch your baby, or you will fear that it will and it will distracting. Many many people I know end up putting away their nice rings for a while when their children are little. I have a toddler now and I don’t wear anything but a sterling silver band for all of those reason but lately I have realized another benefit; my little girl is fascinated by all things girly and shiny including all of my jewelry, she wants to "wear" my ring at least once a day, and having this one I can let her, I would have to say no if I wore my diamond and platinum set and that would be a huge headache to deal with the tantrums even it was just for the first few times until she got the point. Oh and the reason your fingers are swollen at the end of the day and not in the morning is just from the effects of the changes in your circulation in conjunction with gravity. Just like how your ankles and feet are more swollen when you’ve been up and active all day, just start watching your salt and if you can stand to pee more than you already do try to drink even more water…even it seems impossible. Take as many breaks as you can during the day, if there is a place that you can actually lie down for 10 or 15 minutes a few times a day with your feet elevated and both hands up on pillows or in some way elevated at least even with your body, that will also help with the swelling. It sounds a little crazy but if you try to pay attention to how you are positioning your hands during the day, like if you are walking, try not to have your hands down at your side, but instead have your arms bent at the elbow like you would if you were running, or just rest them on your bump! This will simply help with the gravitational effects that contribute to the swelling in your fingers. The other thing someone mentioned above about needing to wear the replacements simply because the others still won’t fit for a while is right too, that is something that no one told me about, the carpel tunnel. On about day 4 or 5 of having the baby home, I’ve never known anyone that didn’t say they woke up and could hardly move the arm that they held the baby with, your just not accustomed to holding your arm like that for such long periods of time and it can shock you how swollen and painful your arm will be from holding that tiny little baby for a few days. Then you adjust and it usually just goes away.

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