I didn’t mean to offend anyone with my last post. I think I may have made a mistake by choosing to title the post “Keepin’ it Real,” because it was not my intention to imply that my blog is more “real” or better than any other blogs out there. Yes, this blog is real because the writings come from my heart and I do not censor my feelings. But other blogs that are full of sunshine and smiles may be just as real, because they all have REAL people behind them.
Additionally, I completely understand that we all have different outlooks on life — some people are more positive and optimistic, while others, like me, are more world-weary and pessimistic. And while I feel a kinship to those who wear their hearts on their sleeves, who struggle and suffer and open their bleeding hearts out to me, others may find this tiring and choose to surround themselves with positive, happy people instead. And that’s alright. Different strokes for different folks.
As more than one commenter has pointed out that they find me an overly pessimistic person, I have decided to go outside my norm and write a positive post about motherhood. Because as much as I may b*tch and moan about being a mother, I love my daughter with all my heart and I couldn’t imagine my life without her.
So here it is. My top five reasons to love motherhood.
1. Being a mother is helping me become a better person.
While J may have some objections to this statement — because let’s face it, he sees me at my worst and is often left to pick up all the pieces — I like to think that slowly but surely, motherhood usually helps women become better people.
I am now a more patient person. I am more sensitive to others’ needs, and I have never been less selfish. I now plan things out ahead of time but am also more flexible and open to change than ever before. And I am now a multitasking whiz.
I once read an article which argued that women should have children in their mid-twenties and only after their children start attending school should they start to really focus on their careers. The author of the article believed that not only is this model better for the mother’s health, but that motherhood will better prepare her for the corporate world through all the changes I’ve listed above.
At the time, I remember disagreeing with the author but now I tend to think that she has a point.
2. I now love my husband more than ever.
They say that some men never truly become adults until they become fathers, and this is soooo the case with J.
I will never forget the look he had in his eyes when he saw Claire for the very first time. How he held our newborn baby, rocked her and whispered soothing words to her as tears of joy flowed down his face.
J is so completely smitten by our baby girl that I imagine whipping sounds in my head whenever he holds her in his arms. He works long, stressful hours in order to support our little family. And when he comes home from a tiring day at work and I can only see fatigue in his eyes, he always heads straight for the baby and can’t seem to get enough of her.
Being a mother has brought out some of the worst in me. The crying, exhausted, forlorn kind. The extra pouch of fat on my tummy that I may never be able to lose, the stretch marks, the saggy boobs in the consistency of cottage cheese kind. Yet he has taken it all in stride and still looks at me with such love and desire, still makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful person in the world, that I cannot help but fall in love with him all over again.
A good father makes for one heck of a sexy husband.
3. My faith has never been stronger.
I have never been a believer more than after becoming a mother. The sheer amount of love I feel for my daughter…yet knowing that it is still imperfect love, really helps me realize just how much God must love us.
Every night as I give Claire her nighttime bottle, I pray to God to help me love my daughter as He loves us. That she will grow to love Him as well, and that I will be a Godly mother and wife.
And I can’t wait to start teaching her about God, Jesus, and the Bible. That is perhaps the #1 thing I look forward to the most: my being able to be her first and primary spiritual guide. I know that I am not perfect, but I pray every day that I will be prepared.
4. Her laugh seems to be the cure for everything.
I can’t get enough of it. Have you seen this video? Here it is for you again:
And it’s a hundred times better when you know that you‘re the cause for her laughter.
5. She loves me the most!
I know that in just a year or two, she will probably start to prefer her dad over me. After all, I will be the disciplinarian, the one who says “no” and the one who will set the limits.
And I know that when she hits puberty she will probably disassociate herself from us altogether, and that we might even get some “I hate you!”s in the mix.
But at the moment, as an infant who is entirely new to this world and still learning to just be alive —
I, as her mother, matter to her the most.
I am the one she loves the most and the one she relies on the most.
I am the one she turns to when she is upset, and I am the only one who can turn a hysterical fit into smiles.
I know that my parents and sister love me. I know that J loves me, and that he relies on me and needs me as well.
But never has anyone expressed this sort of PURE love and need and attachment to me before.
And that makes it all worthwhile.