Aug 18, 2011  •  In Blogging, Personal, Web

Do With It What You Will

I checked my blog stats this morning to discover a plethora of traffic from an unfamiliar site. As I am always excited to encounter new readers and see how and why they chose to visit, I excitedly clicked on the source link…

…only to discover the blog of an extremely racist expat who is currently residing in Korea, using one of my various commentaries on Korean society and distorting it convey his belief that Koreans are fat, ugly, good-for-nothing beings whose “kimchi breath” makes him want to hurl.

After taking a deep breath, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Who knows? Maybe he had a bad day.

So I read on, and became disheartened to learn that the rest of his blog was filled with similar hate-filled speech, not only against Koreans but to women as well, consistently referring to the fairer sex as “b*tches” and “c*nts.”

My first instinct after browsing through the first few pages (don’t ask me why I got so far…it was like watching the horrible scene of an accident) was to contact the writer, or at least leave a comment asking him to remove the link to this blog.

But then I realized: what I write here is in plain sight of everyone who has access to the internet. In other words, it is free fodder for all. And just like there will always be readers who misinterpret my often-well-intentioned ramblings to take offense at my thoughts, there will always be those who will use it for malicious purposes as well.


Similarly, I know that while most people will look at pictures of Claire and see just a baby, a few will find them erotic and have perverted thoughts about my firstborn. :shudder:

As much as I would like to see a stop to actions and thought processes such as these, I can’t. I cannot control how others feel. I cannot control how others act or react. And I have found from experience that if anything, my fighting back usually results in riling anger and unwanted attention.

So I usually just ignore.

What would you do if your content were linked to from an unsavory site? Would you ask to have it removed, or would you just ignore it?

Is this yet another reason why so many bloggers choose not to get so personal on their public spaces on the web?

21 Responses to “Do With It What You Will”

  1. Ugh, that’s awful Jenny. :( Yeah I wouldn’t bother showing attention like you said, not worth it. I really do enjoy your site and so do all my friends. :) Keep doing what you’re doing!

  2. I’d say, unless this other site is causing people to come over to your blog and spout hatred, then just let it go. It’s not worth fighting with random internet people.

    • wen:


      It’s not worth it, as long as he keeps to himself and doesn’t leave hateful comments, there is no reason for you to bring up the issue. If you bring up the issue, even in a peaceful way, there is a very high chance he will retaliate and things can get really ugly. All your previous posts about you, your family, etc–they could all become his ammunition. It’s not worth it, let sleeping dogs lie.

  3. Oh eww : ( What a downer : ( Yea, I agree, I would let it go… distance yourself as far as possible from the creepers : /

  4. I would find that annoying too, but like you said, it’s out there and people will (mis)interpret it however they wish. Your faithful readers know where your heart is when you write and enjoy reading (and will continue to read) your posts because of that.

  5. Carol:

    ech, that IS creepy and scary! Gosh, the internet has really opened a lot of new ways for us to get grossed out huh? I’m sure people were always this messed up, but now we’re more aware of it! :(

  6. UGH what’s wrong with people??

    *SHUDDER* – the thought of someone perverting images of babies sickens me! I’ve thought about that too when blogging about N…

  7. ignore it girl. just started reading your site and it’s fab….haters are going hate and weirdos are going to be weird ;-D

    Ignore, move on, and do what you do best here on Geek in Heels!

  8. Remember the post that you wrote, “Someone is WRONG on the Internet!”? It has been one of my favorite in the past few weeks and I agreed wholeheartedly. You can’t control what people do or say, and you can’t control the way they decide to present you or your site. There are a lot of terrible people out there and a lot of hateful people out there. You can’t let them get to you, and I know how hard that can be. I think that him linking to your blog (instead of quoting you sans a link) will only hurt his purpose, instead of aide it. You are an intelligent, beautiful and kind woman who has a great relationship with her husband, who stands for the positive. You are the opposite of what he is saying regarding women and anyone who is linked to your site and looks around will know that. Be happy that he linked your site to his because he is, in a sense, proving himself wrong. Just remember, don’t get caught up in that, “Someone is WRONG on the internet” mentality. *Hugs*

  9. One of the rules of Marketing is there is no such thing as bad “free” marketing. This guy is driving readers to your page, and hopefully 1-2% stick and are not asshats :)

    I try not to get to upset over negative feedback or traffic, because at the end of the day it is at least one “reader” I know I have, which helps numbers, which helps SEO, which means cool guys like me can find awesome blogs like yours through Google :)

    As far as the “sick and diseased underbelly of the internet” it would be nice to say there is no one out there that sick.. but there is.

    It is just mitigation management after awhile. When I first started to do major freelance work in illustration and logo design, I had to learn to say no to clients based on my own morale code.

    Anyway, I hope there is a lot more positive feedback than negative for you now and in the future :)

  10. Oh man, that is terrible. I’m so sorry that happened. I think you have the right attitude about it, and at least you know that you have a lot of people here who think you’re awesome! :)

  11. Helene:

    ignore him. usually those who write hate mails and leave negative comments are people who’re miserable themselves. just write whatever you like. i’m sure you’ll find that readers who love you (and your family) are way more than these pathetic brats (oops, excuse my language =b)

  12. Yeah, I vote to ignore him too.

    Just really…. Because you don’t want to invite that kind of person to converse back or come back to your site.

    although I don’t keep private because of jerks… I keep private because there’s creepy stalkers out there with binoculars knives. O_O!!

  13. I guess ignore – you’re winning in the end – his link is just getting you more clicks and getting you closer to your ad goals. As long these people aren’t leaving nastiness behind, you win!

    The icky idea of the perverts is what bothers me too … I’ve noticed on Flickr some pretty suspicious people who “favorite” kid pictures. Gross and disturbing.

  14. UGH you have so much more grace than I do. I would have totally freaked out. I commend you and give you 215 awesomeness points.

  15. If an unpleasant comment shows up on my blog, I consider I’m on my own territory, don’t have to justify myself and delete it, plain and simple. Banning the poster is also an option.
    Now indeed, if it’s some other place, what can I do? There are sick crazy people in this world and they can express their views on the internet for free like I do it. I rather ignore it. Knowing too much just brings unnecessary anxiety. I focus on my own corner of the web.

  16. Although it’d bother me and creep me out, I’d ignore it too. Often, it’s not worth the frustration!

    And, as a Christian, I tend to think that every contact with someone is a chance to “plant a seed,” to use the Biblical term. Who knows what impact your words will have on the traffic he’s sending over here, so better to stay above the scum and be a positive influence. :)

  17. What the hell? People suck

  18. Our thoughts on this are similar. I realize that I can’t control how people take the information I present, and I tell myself that the good that comes from blogging has so far outweighed the bad by a whole lot. And that’s why I keep doing it.

  19. Unless they scrape my RSS Feed content, I just ignore it. People who come over to your blog from other unsavoury blogs will come to their own conclusions about you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *