Feb 25, 2012  •  In Aerin, Claire, Motherhood, Personal

Motherhood, Summed Up in a Dream

Last night, I dreamt that J and I were childless.

We dined out often. We frequently entertained, hosting epic game nights just like we used to. We traveled to places we have always wanted to visit together, but never got a chance to: Mexico, Hawaii, France, Italy, Germany…even Hong Kong and Korea! (Yes, we have never visited either places since we started dating!)

Sure, we still experienced fatigue and frustration from our careers. Sure, we were still somewhat restrained by our limited vacation days, budgets, and familial obligations. But this life was so different from what we have now. So carefree, and somewhat innocent.


(image source)

It was a good dream. No, it was a fantastic dream.

But when I woke up (to the sounds of Aerin crying), I was sad. Not because the dream had ended, but because I had missed my girls. Because while a life like that was a lot easier and nice to reminisce back on, I do not want it if it doesn’t include Claire and Aerin.

The grass may be greener on the other side, but sometimes, you still prefer your own lawn.

4 Responses to “Motherhood, Summed Up in a Dream”

  1. so pretty… sometimes I dream of a life with kids and I start to get scared about my current focus on my career. What if one day comes and I realize that I forgot to have kids. Ooo me oh my.

  2. greenellephant:

    this was very touching… and made me realize that where we are right now is where we are supposed to be because God has a greater more glorious plan than we can ever, in a millions years, dream about… :) xo

  3. I have very intense dreams, and sometimes when I wake up I feel an actual longing for them… despite the fact that I wouldn’t give up my family for anything. It’s all so strange, and I’m frequently unsettled by it.

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