Jul 30, 2014  •  In Christianity, Funny, Web

The Ten Commandments, Upworthy Style

David Tate has penned for McSweeney’s a “More Engaging Copy for The Ten Commandments” — restyled in the way of the insufferable headlines of sites like Upworthy. The results are amusingly click-worthy, to say the least.  ;-)

ten_commandments

You won’t believe what God said to this man…

  1. What You Need to Know Now About the Lord Totally Being God
  2. At the Beginning He Had Me Confused, But by Minute Two I Knew That I Shouldn’t Have Other Gods.
  3. Are You Making This Common Mistake with Graven Images?
  4. How I Work: Read This Life Hack from God Your Only Creator.
  5. She Admitted to Doing What Every Sunday?
  6. Seven Morning Habits of People Holier Than You: #7 No Killing Before Lunch.
  7. 37 Things in Your Bedroom That You Need to Get Rid of Right Now, Like Adulteresses.
  8. What the Government Doesn’t Want You to Know About Stealing Your Neighbors Servants.
  9. This Little Girl Bore False Witness and the Results Will Shock You.
  10. Doctors Hate Her But You Shouldn’t Covet Her.

Can you think of better clickbait headlines for the Ten Commandments?

One Response to “The Ten Commandments, Upworthy Style”

  1. This is hysterical! I can’t stand those headlines. Found your blog while searching for an alternative to LinkWithin. Thanks for the nRelate recommendation even though you wrote it 2 years ago! :-)

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