As stated in an earlier post, 2011 was not the best year — financially — for my family.

This does not only apply to my parents. While J and I are by no means poor, we have been on a very tight budget. Yes, we were able to hire a part-time nanny for a few months. Yes, we are able to dine out once in a while. But these luxuries do not come easily, as we have made numerous sacrifices to achieve them (e.g., not purchasing clothes for ourselves for the entire year).

And as much as it pains me to not be able to afford toddler classes for Claire, or not be able to immediately afford a new couch despite the fact that our current one literally has springs popping out (thankfully, the springs are coming out of the bottom of the couch so they do not pose a safety threat), I know that we are the lucky few. I have family members who are about to get kicked out of their home. I have close friends who are struggling with unemployment, mounting bills, and have even contemplated drastic measures like suicide.

Because if you are reading this on your own computer — or even on a computer at work — you are probably wealthier than 90% of the world.

Even now, I feel silly writing out our problems when there are people starving out there.

I guess this is one of the biggest reasons I stopped spending so much time on Facebook in the past year. Yes, I still log in to upload pictures to share with my family, and to keep up this blog’s Facebook page. But I don’t like to hang around much because so many people’s problems seem so petty (#firstworldproblems much?), or the pictures from luxurious vacations and/or frivolous purchases depress me when so many of my loved ones are in financial pain.

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It is no secret that in our current economic climate, the rich keep getting richer while the poor grow poorer…with the middle class dwindling in numbers. J and I are very fortunate that we are able to remain in the middle class, but with the costs of living rising far quicker than our income, we can’t help but feel strained and a bit resentful at times.

Then we come across pieces like this, where those with $700k incomes feel “poor,” or this, where a high-end designer chooses to defile their pieces before throwing them out so that the less fortunate can’t wear them, and I can’t help but feel even more depressed. Not because I am envious and wish for more money and a better lifestyle, but because I want to scream, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??!!!

I remember joking to J a couple of months ago that this current worldwide situation of the widening gap between the upper and lower classes is what will eventually lead to World War III. And as much as I said it in a lighthearted manner, I couldn’t help but think that there may be some truth to the statement. Perhaps not a war, but some sort of revolution.

Think about it: throughout recorded history, the widening gap between the rich and the poor have almost always led to big changes. The fall of the Roman Empire. The French Revolution. The Bolshevik Revolution.

I am a bit scared for the world that my girls will be raised in, to be honest.

But there is no use just whining and complaining about it. I have decided that while I cannot control the actions of others, I can at least take some small steps toward helping those in need. As such, I have signed up to be a volunteer at a homeless shelter via my church. I have also decided to donate a percentage of my blog earnings every month. (I wish I could do more and give more, but it’s admittedly difficult with two babies and our own mounting bills.)

How do, or how will, you help?

The media keeps telling us that the economy is getting better, that the unemployment rate is decreasing and that there are brighter days ahead.

In my parents’ circle, this is not the case.

Because from what I can see, 2011 has been the most difficult for small business owners, especially immigrant groups who rely on dry cleaners, nail salons, delis, and grocery stores — previously some of the most stable small businesses  — for their livelihood.

My mother tells me that in the 20+ years she’s been in the dry cleaning business, she has never seen it this bad.

Two of her close friends are in default on their mortgages. My aunt’s family recently had her home foreclosed. Everyone else is dipping into, and depleting their savings and retirement funds just to stay afloat.

And my parents? They are two of the most hard-working, frugal people I know. Their credit scores were both above 800 even just a year ago. The regulars at their stores love them and constantly tell me that I should be proud to have such great people as my parents.

But this past year, they have struggled tremendously. They too have cashed out their retirement funds. Their credit ratings have suffered as a result of all the loans they took out — in addition to the loans they have applied for and have been rejected from. They cannot sell their stores because no one is willing, or has the money to buy. They are in danger of losing both their stores as well as their house.

Despite their own financial hardships, my parents never cease giving. Here is my dad
presenting Claire with her first LEGO set. 

The most frustrating part about all of this — at least, in my small and selfish mind — is that my parents cannot speak good English. So it’s me and my sister who have to deal with the calls to the bank, the letters from collection agencies, and the endless amount of paperwork.

It’s even more exasperating that our parents still do not quite understand how the American system works. They are still accustomed to the Korean way, where you can plead your case to the bank manager and perhaps receive a pardon for the month. They do not understand why some companies refuse to take personal checks, even when accompanied by a bank statement that shows there is plenty of money in the account. They do not understand how the representatives of the companies they deal with can be so careless and even irresponsible with their clients’ accounts.

Moreover, they do not understand how the American dream, which they had been so certain they had already fulfilled, can disintegrate so suddenly.

My father’s health continues to deteriorate. My mother grows older and more haggard with every passing day. I wish that they could retire, but they no longer have the means to. I wish that I can help them out, but we are in no financial situation to do so either. If it weren’t for the girls, I would get a job making even $30,000 a year just so that I can help support the two people who have supported me for the first quarter-century of my life.

I ask my mother how she does it. How does she get up to go to work every day knowing that she will only continue to go into debt?

“We have hope for the future,” she tells me. “We hope that things will get better soon. We also have hope in you and your sister, and in Claire and Aerin…and we continue to work in hopes that you may all be more comfortable in the future.”

“Besides,” she continues. “There are people out there who are much worse than us. We still have so much to be thankful for.”

I turn away my head as she says this so that she cannot see the tears welling up in my eyes.

We’ve all seen the commercials. A doting spouse surprises his or her significant other with a brand new car for Christmas, complete with a big red bow on top.

A screenshot from this year’s “A December to Remember Sales Event” commercial

And if you’re anything like me, you’re probably thinking, “Does anyone actually do that?”

Apparently, yes — there is even a warehouse in California that stockpiles the iconic oversized red bows because the demand for them is so high! Granted, the article referenced is a bit old, but as Lexus’s annual “December to Remember Sales Event” is ongoing, I highly doubt that this tradition of the financially privileged has expired in recent years.

I always told J that I would be pretty angry with him if he ever did this for me. Yes, the sentiment is nice, but to make such a big purchase without consulting me first — one that is surely to affect our financial future — is wrong in my eyes.

And I know that I can not the only one who thinks this way, because I saw the following strip from Dog House Diaries just this morning:

Would you ever purchase a car as a surprise present for your spouse? How would you react if your S.O. surprised you with a new car?

Today we welcome back guest blogger Susan. I have always admired her professionalism and diplomatic approach to feminism, and this post certainly does not disappoint.

What do you think? Do you believe the financial crisis may not have happened if women had been in charge? Do you think that women need to take a more proactive and entrepreneurial role in this economy?

After the financial crisis that put this country in it’s current mess, I saw lots of speculation floating around that if women had been in charge of our financial institutions, this would never have happened. Interesting. Now women are being looked at as a possible fix for our unemployment woes.

Women in tech is a recurring feature on my blog, mostly because I am one. So I’m really excited to see some research from the Kauffman foundation recommending a focus on science and technology startups created by women to help our economy. More jobs are better any way you slice it, of course. Is encouraging women to found their own companies the way to get things moving? It’s certainly worth a try given that some other things meant to stimulate our economy haven’t really done the trick.

You don’t have to look hard to find the stats on how many men start their own companies when compared with women. This research article even mentions that the rate of women patenting research is lower than men in similar fields. Women in scientific fields also seem to gravitate more toward non profits and universities than the for profit world. There are many reasons people suspect more women in all industries don’t start their own companies; lack of networking opportunities, lack of funding opportunities, even lack of confidence are all considered culprits.

Starting a company, tech or otherwise is a big commitment. There are the barriers to entry that people love to site in articles about the lack of women in tech. But there is another camp entirely who believe that opportunities or not, most women just aren’t interested. The argument here is that women may prefer a more collaborative role to a strictly managerial one. Some prefer more “social” job positions like sales and marketing. And the most obvious one; if you are the COO of your home and family, you probably already have enough on your plate without trying to launch your own business.

I’m not sure which (if any) of those are the reason for where we are now. There is certainly enough speculation floating around about it. What I’m really interested in is if any of these strategies to empower women actually produce results. Most people can agree that there should be more women in tech, but nothing has actually changed just yet. I think all the unemployed people out there would agree that we can’t really wait around to find out if it will. Regardless of who helms the next wave of innovative companies, no one would argue that start ups are an important source of new jobs. Somebody needs to get cracking.

Image by mant.

About the Author:

Susan Cruickshank is a feminist, blogger and owner of too many pairs of trousers. She puts her own spin on women’s career and other work-related issues on her blog Wearing the Trousers. When not blogging, Susan enjoys the Boston music scene as fan and sometimes performer and spending time with her husband Rob. Her other favorite activity is posting ridiculous pictures of her cats on Facebook.

A few weeks ago I looked into procuring a larger safe deposit box to store our valuables and important documents, and I had a heckuva time finding one!

All the bank branches within a 15-mile radius had waiting lists at least a year long. And the CitiBank in Chinatown where we had been guaranteed a free safe deposit box when we first opened our account just prior to getting married? The waiting list was a staggering 3 YEARS. 

I could only think of two possible reasons for the sudden decrease in safe deposit availabilities:

1. People are starting to become smarter about their valuables; or
2. With the unstable economy, people are less inclined to invest their money in intangibles such as stocks and more in material assets such as gold.

It came to me as no surprise then, to read that some banks are now starting to charge for deposits.

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Additionally, word around the Asian community is that many are renting safe deposit boxes to store cold, hard cash! While many banks have policies against storing cash in safe deposit boxes — not to mention the lack of any savings rate accural — keeping your Benjamins in safe deposit boxes ensures that your money stays under the radar of Uncle Sam’s watchful eyes.

Now, the 3-year-long waiting list for a safe deposit box in Chinatown is starting to make sense!

Has anyone else noticed the lack of available safe deposits as of late? Would you ever keep cash in a safe deposit box?