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The Other Arm

I’m not a very affectionate person. I don’t coo at babies. I feel uncomfortable when people stand or sit too close to me. I have trouble saying “I love you” even to my family.

And I don’t like cuddling.

Yes, that’s right. I’m a girl and I don’t like cuddling. Because I need my own space when I sleep, dammit.

This causes a bit of a problem because J is a cuddler. He loves to cuddle. He’s always begging and whining for me to cuddle with him.

Being the dutiful girlfriend that I am, (ha – that sounds funny even to me) I oblige most of the time. If he is lucky and he catches me when I’m mucho tired, I will fall asleep in this position. But when I wake up, I’m on the opposite side of the bed. See, even in my sleep I don’t like cuddling.

I guess I can see how most girls like to cuddle. You want to stay close to those you love. Or you need some tenderness after having crazy animal sex.

My typical cuddling cycle:

Cuddle starts: Mmm. This is nice.

After 2 minutes: I start getting bored and restless. I fidget. J holds me tighter so I can’t escape.

After 5 minutes: My arm (the bottom one) starts to fall asleep. I start squirming. I finally break loose of his kung fu grip.

To all the girls out there – what do you do with the other arm? The one on the bottom? Guys don’t understand this because they’re lying on their backs, as comfortable as they can be. Girls, on the other hand, have to lie on one side, with one arm below their bodies. You can’t put it in front of you, because the guy is there. You can’t put it behind you, because that’s just ridiculously uncomfortable.

It must be one of those mysteries of life. Like why we keep our mouthes open when applying mascara.