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The Baby Dance

Earlier this week I met with my OB to discuss some questions that had been plaguing me; mainly, why the heck can’t I get pregnant again?

Before getting pregnant my periods were like clockwork: every 27 days, lasting 5 days. I think I’ve had only a handful of instances in the past decade where I was late.

Now I have no idea where I’m at. My first period after losing the baby came 36 days after the surgery. The period after that? 41 days. Each were excruciating with extra blood. Remember my bleeding through onto the couch? Well that was nothing compared to the second period where the blood went through a tampon AND a pad, my underwear, and onto my pants every 3-4 hours.

I still haven’t lost the weight I gained from the pregnancy, and while my boobs are definitely softer, they still remain humongous at D-cups. I cringe whenever I see my monstrous bras.

My OB says that this is nothing to worry about, as there is nothing wrong with me physically. Everyone’s body is different and mine is taking a bit longer to adjust.

Then there’s the getting pregnant again part. We’re both relatively young (29 & 31) and healthy. We’ve been having sex regularly. Why haven’t we gotten pregnant yet?

I know, I know — three months is nothing compared to some couples who try for years and years without success. I just never thought that we would be one of those couples.

I never thought I would be one of those women, taking my basal body temperature every day and charting my cycle. I never thought I would become fluent in TTC (trying to conceive) talk:

Since my m/c in October my AF has be really irregular. We do the BD every day but still haven’t gotten a BFP after three months. I’ve been charting my BBT but am too grossed out to check my CM…however, I thought I saw some EWCM the other day. Have I o’d and missed it? Should I take a HPT, or just stock up on OPKs?

I never thought I would hope for every twinge/pain/discomfort to be a sign of ovulation or implantation. I never thought I would look forward to nausea, bloating, gas, and body aches. I never thought I would schedule our social events around my ovulation day. I never thought I would talk to my uterus more than my husband after sex, or prop up my legs and hips after doing the deed so that his little guys don’t have to fight against gravity.

But oh yes. I HAVE BECOME THAT WOMAN.

I realize more and more with each passing day, with every story I read, just how much of a miracle life is, and how blessed those with healthy pregnancies and children are.

Here’s to hoping and praying that we are blessed with a miracle of our own very soon.