J is finally back from his business trip, and I couldn’t be happier.
This was the first time in years that we had spent a night apart, so being away from each other for three nights was plain torture. We had promised each other that we would video chat every night via Skype, but you know what happened to my computer. I really wanted to cry when I first saw him this morning, and I’m not just saying this because I know he will read this.
And to show my appreciation for him, J returned home to a…
To-do list on the fridge for him.
I know! Aren’t I such a great wife?
Later in the day, when I jokingly nagged him about the list, he (very rightfully) asked, “Can’t I just get a day to rest on my day off???”
I’m pretty sure that if you ask J what one of his biggest annoyances about me is, he would tell you that I need to chill sometimes. That everything is not imperative, that non-emergency situations can wait, that I need to take things slower and enjoy life once in a while. (That to-do list on the fridge? I would’ve taken care of them myself a long time ago only if I were tall enough to do them.)
I know this, because one of my biggest annoyances about him is that I feel he needs to stop being so relaxed about everything and get things done ASAP, before everything starts piling up and/or we forget about it until it’s too late.
J and I have many, many things in common. We are both computer geeks who are obsessed with Star Wars. We both love professional basketball and football (we have rooted for the same teams — the Knicks and the Ravens — even before we met) but aren’t that into college sports. We are both musicians who play various instruments in addition to belting it out on karaoke with a good beer in our hands.
The list goes on and on.
But personality-wise, we couldn’t be more different. J is a true extrovert through and through, while I am one of the biggest introverts you will ever meet. He is very personable — the type of person who can become your new BFF in just one night — while I have the social skills of a gnat. J loves to joke around, and I am much more pensive and serious. He lives life in a carpe diem manner when I like to plan and think out everything. He sees the glass as half-full while I’m sure most of my readers are well aware that I tend to be a pessimist.
There are certain types of personalities where, if you put two people together with the same type of dispositions, they will mesh very well together. “We are so alike…it’s like I met my long-lost twin AND best friend!”
Then there are types of personalities where two people with similar characteristics may end up hating each other. (I am actually quite certain that if I were to meet someone with the same personality as me, I probably will not like him/her very much.) Or, when two people with completely different temperaments predictably do not get along.
I think that I have gotten very lucky in that J and I have many preferences in common, but our personalities are complete opposites that complement each other very well. He helps me get more out of life and see the bright side. I keep him grounded and focused. And by doing so, we make each other better people.
It’s funny, because J and his brother W are complete opposites…in fact, W’s personality is very very similar to mine. What makes this even more interesting (and perhaps a bit freudian?) is that W’s wife is very much like J. Whenever the four of us get together, it’s not unusual for J and my SIL to be joking around while W and I sit there rolling our eyes at them.
If you are in a relationship, are you in the “opposites attract” type? Or were you and your significant other drawn to each other for your similarities?
(The photos from this post were from our engagement session, shot by our wedding photographer Danny Weiss.)