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Chopsticks

When J was a little kid, his parents bought him a pair of ivory chopsticks that were engraved with his name. Twenty-plus years later, they are still his favorite pair of chopsticks: When J's parents came to the states for our wedding, they brought me a gift from Hong Kong: my own pair of ivory chopsticks, engraved with my Korean name written in Chinese...

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My Internal Clock

 I have an uncanny sense of time. I usually know what time it is without looking at a clock, and I'm almost always within 5 minutes of accuracy, to boot. I can also set an internal "alarm" to wake me up whenever I wish. For the past year or so, I've always woken up almost exactly an hour before my actual, physical alarm clock blares its annoying beeps. Yes, it's a total pain in the ass. And for some reason, I cannot seem to find the "off" button to this internal alarm. After waking up (unnecessarily) at 6:00am again this morning, I finally realized why. I'm such a control freak that I force myself to wake up on my terms, not the alarm clock's. ...

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My Parents’ Old Mexican Workers

This past weekend, Neatorama posted an article called U.S. Economy Sucks, So Illegal Immigrants Are Goin’ Home! I was immediately reminded of Mario, a worker at my parents' old dry cleaners. A Mexican immigrant, Mario worked the heavy press machines. He worked at the store for almost the entire 15 years of my parents' tenure. Slowly but steadily he was able to build his salary to $700 a week. A few years after Mario started working at the store, he married a fellow Mexican immigrant named Maria. He was able to procure a position for her at the same store. She didn't work as many hours as him, and earned $400 a week. Although the store was located in the wealthy suburban area of Weschester, NY, Mario and Maria rented a...

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Feeling Unattractive

I think every girl has those days when she feels Jabba-esque. You know what I'm talking about. When all your outfits make you look fat. When no amount of concealer will hide the dark circles under your eyes. When your hair refuses to acquiesce to endless styling and products. Lately I've been having more of these days, mainly due to my lopsided face. It's subtle, but I can tell the difference, and when the owner isn't feelin' it the body tends not to cooperate. "Do you think I'm ugly?" This is the question dreaded by men all over the world. How do you respond to that? What if your girlfriend or wife does in fact, look like shit that day? Lucky for me, J always has the perfect answer to that...

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