Following yesterday’s post, I received several comments and emails telling me that I need to chill out. All of them came from well-meaning people who are concerned on my behalf, so I did not take offense to them. However, I felt that I needed to write this post to clarify my position on the subject.
Yes, J and I are actively trying to get pregnant, and have been for the past 3 months. However, we do not let baby-making interfere with our lives in a negative way. I do not have babies on my mind 24-7. Am I sad that we are not yet pregnant? Yes. But am I crying over it? No (aside from that one time when I was majorly PMSing).
I do not consider baby-making my first or sole reason for having sex, because I love having sex with my husband. It is enjoyable, pleasurable, and fun. We do not roll our eyes at “having to do it again,” nor do we force ourselves to have sex.
I have the tendency to dramatize my life on this blog, and for that I apologize.
As for stress? Well I have always been a high-strung person. My type-A personality does not allow me to “let things go” or “just let it happen.” It kills me (again, with the dramatization) that I cannot control my own body, to make myself get pregnant and have a healthy baby.
And it is for this reason that I started charting. I actually have found charting relaxing and comforting. Heck, who am I kidding? I LOVE CHARTS, GRAPHS, AND TABLES! I love the fact that there are free sites like FertilityFriend that keeps track of not only your basal body temperature, but other signs of fertility as well.
A random woman’s chart on FertilityFriend
As you can see above, there are areas of the chart that allow you to enter almost everything that may indicate your fertility levels: basal body temperature, cervical mucus, saliva…even moods and bodily functions! You can also keep track of which days you are having sex, which part of the day you are having sex, which days you are menstruating/spotting, etc.
Charting has helped me be more in tune with my body,
and given me some semblance of control over my fertility.
Some may call it obsessive, but I like looking at my chart and trying to figure out what’s going on with my body and when. J thinks it’s cute that I chart; he knows how much I love this kind of stuff and encourages me to do it.
In fact, I like it so much that I think I’ll continue to do this even when I get pregnant, and after having babies as well.
I know that everything is in God’s will and plan, and I accept that. But this doesn’t mean that I can’t pray about it every day, and even help myself along.
