Yesterday J asked me when I would like to take my maternity photos.
“I don’t know…next month? I don’t really care.”
Then I realized…I really do care. But for the wrong reasons. Because the truth of the matter is, I don’t want to take them. Because never have I felt more unattractive in my life. Because never have I felt more unhealthy.
Because — to be perfectly frank — I hate being pregnant and I don’t want a visual reminder of it.
A perfect representation of how attractive I feel at the moment
Now don’t get me wrong — I am still amazed at the life that is living within me, to see her growing larger and stronger, to be able to feel her moving inside of me. I am so thankful that J and I were able to conceive naturally, and that our baby seems to be healthy and doing well. And I thank God every day for giving us this blessing — this miracle — and continue to pray for a happy and healthy baby.
But that doesn’t negate the fact that I hate being pregnant. Am I a horrible mom for thinking this? For admitting to it?
And on some sense I feel like a traitor to myself. Because I tried so hard to get pregnant again. Because there was a time when all I wanted was to be pregnant. And I feel like a traitor to those who are working so hard to get pregnant, to those who would give anything to be in my shoes.
I know there are some women who LOVE being pregnant. Sadly, I am not one of them. I look forward to the day when my daughter is born, not only so that I can see her face-to-face for the first time, but because I know that I will no longer be pregnant.
Surely I can’t be the only woman who feels this way…right?
Definitely not the only one who feels that way. I bet it’s not even particularly uncommon.
I was a pregnancy hater too. I’ll do it again, but it’s only because the child is so wonderful that it makes up for the 9 months of not-fun. I made a list at one point of all the good things about being pregnant… here’s the link – it got a few good comments from other people. Maybe it’ll distract you for a couple of minutes. 🙂
I hate, hate, hated being pregnant. Believe me, THAT’S the normal response. I’m pretty sure those who love being pregnant are the ones with a screw loose.
Honestly I loved being prego ONLY because I had a very easy pregnancy and somehow I was thinner prego than I was normally. I was also healthier. It could have easily been the opposite. Your not a lot my friend who was prego with me HATED being prego. She was miserable, she has morning sickness for months, false labor, cramps pains etc you name it. and she gained A LOT of weight. So your not alone. Many women hate pregnancy and it does not make you a bad mom, it makes you honest. It’s a big change to our bodies (one that changes our bodies forever) Even if you love the baby inside youd on’t like how you look outside.
i, too, hate being pregnant. okay, i love to hate being pregnant. when i feel my baby boy moving inside of me, i am filled with joy. when i think of those first treacherous 16 weeks where i was in and out of the hospital and i felt like dying, i honestly can’t say that i loved it at all. i am planning on having my maternity pix next month (when i am only 6+ mos pregnant) because i don’t want to remember looking super fat and gross. i think a small, cute baby bump will help me remember the good parts.
Talk about timely. My closest friend and I both started trying to conceive last fall. As of right now, she’s five months pregnant…and I’m still trying. The other day, she and I were chatting on gchat, and she mentioned how awful she felt about her weight gain, how miserable she is, how she didn’t realize what this would do for her body image.
I burst into tears in my office.
I don’t blame her for the way she feels, just like I don’t take issue with you, or anyone else, discussing how they don’t particularly like being pregnant. But as someone who has been trying, unsuccessfully, for almost a year…well, at this point, I would welcome the weight gain, the bloating, the sleepless nights, and whatever else goes along with pregnancy.
Truly, I couldn’t be more thrilled for you and everyone else in my life who is expecting. I guess it’s just a little bittersweet when I read/hear that it’s not all sunshine and roses.
I don’t have any kids and my husband and I are not trying as of now but I know for a fact my mother hated being pregnant with my twin brother and I. There is ONE picture of her pregnant from the entire 7 months she was pregnant and my godmother owns it ( we were premature and came on the day of her baby shower so there aren’t even pics from then), And we she didn’t have any more children after us because she hated being pregnant so much. She still loves me though 🙂 So you sound normal to me !
i just couldn’t agree more with every single word that u wrote up there ‘cos i’m feeling exactly the same. such a contradictory feeling…
Don’t worry! I am with Jasmine, there is only one pic showing my mum pregnant – she hated how she looked and could not understand why people would want to have a visual reminder of that.
Awww, i hated being pregnant too but, at the end its all worth it. I loved my baby girl to death these days. She’s my everything and i don’t know what i would do without her now. I didn’t bother taking materniy photos when I was pregnant. Its okay if you don’t want to. I don’t see what’s the big deal about it. Maybe instead of taking maternity photos, you can take photos of the baby after birth for her 1 month.
For the most part, I don’t really mind being pregnant. But I’d by lying if I said I don’t care about getting my pre-pregnancy body back. (I feel guilty for even wanting it back.) I totally understand, though. Lately, as hot as it’s been, I’m hot and sweaty and feel like a walking house. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever feel sexy again. : /
I had my sister-in-law take some photos back when I was about 6 months, and she wants to take more with my husband before I pop, and I’m ok with that. I’d like to be able to look back and see just how big I was at the end, and to one day show my kids, too.
I haaated being pregnant. I realized while organizing my photos that I only have one photo of me from the last 4 months of my pregnancy because I just refused to get in front of a camera. I felt fat and unattractive, and couldn’t wait for the day I gave birth. It’s totally normal. Now that the baby is older and all the fat is gone, I kind of wish I took a few pictures of how big my belly got, because I have nothing to document it!
Both my mother and my older sister HATED being pregnant, my sister so much so that she is seriously considering adopting her next child just so she doesn’t have to experience pregnancy again. Unfortunately they say your experience of pregnancy will be similar to the other female family members pregnancies, so here I am trying to conceive and that’s apparently what I have to look forward to. I hope I end up in the I LOVE PREGNANCY camp, but I’m not holding out any hope for it.
I’m sorry you aren’t feeling so great. I don’t think you are a horrible mom for thinking this way about pregnancy. From what I gather from your posts, you are really excited about the baby! It’s just the physical pregnancy side effects that are causing you grief. I follow a wonderful mommy blog where the blogger had all-day morning sickness for the whole 9 months! At some point, I know she said something along the lines of "I hate being pregnant". You aren’t alone, J! Feel better.
I’ve only seen one picture of my mom pregnant with me and she looked thrilled. And I mean that in the most sarcastic way. There are no pictures from the hospital. That’s what I don’t understand. Why would someone want pictures remind them of pushing a baby out of them? No thank you. I’m imposing a no picture rule. Shoot. Most women look like crap at the hospital. Anyhoo, we’re TTC and hopefully I have a smooth pregnancy but I’m selfish and I’m sure I’m going to want the thing out at some point then I’ll go all OCD on my body and crank it back in shape. Hang in there!
I hate being preggers! I’m always sick, sick, and sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hate being pregant im 23 weeks now and i never want to be pregant again..
i feel like its wrong to hate pregancy. i have had a good pregancy i was sick a little but that past and i couldnt eat propely but i think thats be.cuz i felt sick with food maybe i scare of eating the same thing.. i know this horrible but when i look at ethier babys i stiil dont feel brodey i never have.. and i hate it when she kicks my mother says i should enjoy the moments and kicking but i dont.. i feel like i cant boned with her i dont want to feel like this way but i do.. is wronge to hate pregancy because i cant have the life iv wanted im 19 i wanted to have good job and home own befor i even fort about kids but instead i work on a bar in hotle/pub and still live with mother.. and trying to get a house or flat of housing aint well.. im stressing my self out with looking everyday for home.. i think thats a another reason why i dont like being pregant.. my boyfriend dosent even no how much i hate being pregant do u think i should tell him.. or just keep all thes brothering me inside and hope it go’s away
I hate HATE being pregnant. Like you all I wanted was to be pregnant and my hubby and I tried and here we are. 21 weeks pregnant and all I can think about is losing weight and exercising. I am totally obsessed and it is stressing me out. I didn’t gain a lot with my second only 30 lbs. But only 30 lbs. sounds like an elephant this time around. I don’t want to gain weight. I love my baby boy growing inside of me and I can’t wait until he is here but I feel gross all the time and it is making me VERY depressed.