Geek in Heels - Page 174

Oct 23, 2009 • In Gadgets, Photography

My First DSLR

Earlier this week I decided that things just could not get worse. Yes, there are a lot of horrible things happening in my life in addition to the drama that has been shadowing me for the past few months. And no, I am not exaggerating.

But as they say, the only way to go from here is up. I won’t go into details other than that things are finally starting to get better.

After getting our mortgage, hospital bills, and other financial responsibilities situated, I pulled in some extra work and decided to treat myself to some retail therapy.

I had wanted a DSLR for quite some time now and had my sights set on the Nikon D90 since it was first announced last year. However, when Canon released the latest addition to its popular EOS Rebel line, I decided to reconsider.

Each camera has its pros and cons (you can read extensive reviews on both at Digital Photography Review) and neither seemed to be glaringly better than the other. In the end, it came down to personal preference…and once I tested each camera in person, I found myself leaning towards the Canon.

Announcing my new baby: the Canon EOS 500D / Digital Rebel T1i!

I haven’t been able to play with it yet because the battery is still charging! (Isn’t that the most annoying part of every battery-operated technology purchase?) But I’m undoubtedly über-excited, and can’t wait to get started!

I have some photography experience from a class I took eons ago. Fortunately, J grew up with advanced SLRs (courtesy of his father) and has volunteered to answer any questions I may have.

We decided not to purchase any accessories yet (save for a memory card) so that we can do additional research and look up the best prices online first. At the moment, these two accessories look like great starting-off companions to the camera:

Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II Lens

Canon Speedlite 270EX Flash

Now, I have a question for you, my readers:

What accessories you would recommend to a first-time DSLR owner?

How a 3-Year-Old Views the NYC Subway

Graphic designer and illustrator Erin Jang created this wonderful poster for her nephew’s third birthday.

How adorably fun!

I have to say that I’m very impressed with the boy’s extensive list of meaningful subway stops. My custom map would be about the same size, and would include the following stops (from north to south):

175th St – George Washington Bridge (for when I need to meet my parents in Fort Lee)

96th St – Central Park West (who doesn’t love Central Park?)

86th St (The Metropolitan Museum of Art & The Guggenheim Museum)

Columbus Circle (there are always things to do in Columbus Circle)

Fifth Ave – 53rd St (The MoMA)

42nd St – Times Square (Port Authority & Times Square)

34th St – Penn Station (my old company & the home of my beloved Knicks: Madison Square Garden)

34th St – Herald Square (K-Town)

14th St (J’s old company & my favorite places in Chelsea)

14th St – Union Square (Union Square)

Astor Pl (St. Marks Place)

Canal St (Chinatown)

Bay Ridge Ave (my babysitting charge lives here)

How about you? Which stops would your custom map include?

Sacrificing for Family

Last week, I was helping my mother go through some business documents at her store when her friend dropped by to visit.

“And what is your daughter doing here?”

“She’s helping me sort through these documents, make phone calls, write letters, and fill out forms.”

“What a great daughter!”

“Oh it’s nothing. She’s been doing this for us ever since she was in 2nd grade!”

What my mother said is true. When we first immigrated to the U.S., my parents painstakingly studied books, listened to cassette tapes, and even took night classes to learn English. But how could they properly learn while working 80 hours a week in an attempt to set up a new life in a new country (to which they had arrived with literally no money in their possession)…all while raising two young children?

My sister and I picked up our second language without much difficulty, and I, as the older daughter, quickly assumed the role of the translator.

I resented this while growing up, and I am ashamed to say that I still resent it at times. Not only was I required to decipher every letter that arrived at our address, I had to make phone calls, write letters, and intercede on my parents’ behalf. I have done this since elementary school.

Can you imagine being the only kid whose parents never attended parent-teacher conferences, and having to explain to your teachers that your parents can not visit because they do not speak English? (And no, I was not allowed to attend and translate on behalf of my parents.)

How about getting in heated debates with government agencies at the age of 8?

Even something as trivial as going out for dinner had the potential to become an embarrassing experience, because you just knew that your father (who always insisted on placing the order) will screw it up somehow…

The story is typical of many immigrant families. I know that I am not alone, and I am sure I had it a lot better than others.

However, I can’t deny that these circumstances force a child grow up a lot faster.

There were so many times during the course of my childhood where I could not let go and just have fun. Be a CHILD. How could I, when I had to write that letter to the New York State Department of Labor, call the phone company to ask why we had been charged an extra $30 this month, and translate for my parents a permission slip that the school had sent home with me earlier that day?

Even now, I hate the fact that my parents continue to call on me when I have my own “adult” problems to deal with.

Listening to my mother have the above conversation with her friend, my mind flashed back to bitter memories. To being forced to solve problems that should’ve rested on my parents’ shoulders. To losing time, to becoming so careworn at such a young age.

To being called in to do even more work just days after the most painful loss of my life.

“Oh it’s nothing. She’s been doing this for us ever since she was in 2nd grade!” my mother proudly exclaimed.

Nothing? NOTHING? How can you say that it’s NOTHING when —

It was then that I heard the underlying tone of my mother’s voice.

This hurts her more than it has hurt, or will ever hurt me.

*

Are you the children of immigrants? If so, did you have similar experiences?

“I Never Got to Hold My Children”

Alexandra, aka Mrs. Shortcake, has written a beautiful post titled No One Here But Us Chickens at her blog Our Little Haus.

My eyes started tearing up as soon as I read the line “I consider myself a mother, whose babies are no longer alive,” because this is exactly how I feel.

Go read it now.

The Follow-Up Visit

J and I returned to the OB’s office today to have my post-D&C follow-up.

After a brief examination, the doctor happily informed me that everything looks perfect. She said that we can try for another baby as soon as we feel ready.

“Is there anything we can do to prevent another miscarriage?”

“Unfortunately, not much at this point. I have found over the years that a surprisingly large number of women miscarry…they just don’t talk about it. The good news is that the majority of these women go on to have babies — many, HEALTHY babies. Since this is your first miscarriage, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You’re both young and healthy, and you obviously have no trouble conceiving.”

She went on to add that if I planned on trying for another baby soon, I should continue taking my pre-natal vitamins to ensure that my body will have all the nutrients it needs for another pregnancy.

“That’s it! I hope to see you guys again in a few months! (If you’re ready, that is.)”

So that was that. The pregnancy was officially labeled “a fluke,” and as much as I hate the use of such an ugly term to describe our lost child, I am beginning to accept that it just wasn’t meant to be.

I had mentioned in the private post describing the D&C (request access here) just how much I love this OB practice and the hospital to which they’re affiliated. Since I had such a hard time looking for a good OB in my area (we live in Hudson County, NJ), I’ve decided to share their information with my readers:

Women’s Health Partners Obstetrics & Gynecology
222 Cedar Lane, Suite 204 Teaneck, NJ 07666-4312 201-836-4025	434 Palisade Avenue Cliffside Park, NJ 07010-2839 210-943-4884
Devorah Catherine Daley, M.D. Lev D. Kandinov, M.D., F.A.C.O.G. Myriam Langer, M.D.

Although both offices are located in Bergen County (not Hudson), the Cliffside Park location is a surprisingly-short 15 minute drive from my house. I have met with and been treated with doctors Daley and Langer and would recommend them to anyone. The staff is attentive and friendly, and this truly was the first OB-GYN office — even before the pregnancy — that made me feel comfortable, relaxed, and informed.

The hospital that they’re affiliated with is Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck, NJ. They are a short, 10-15 minute drive from our house too and I couldn’t be happier with their services. Everyone I saw was so friendly, sympathetic, and attentive that both J and I agreed that this is the hospital we want to return to when we get pregnant again. (It also doesn’t hurt that all the rooms their new maternity ward are private suites.)

Comic Sans: The Most Hated Typeface in Existence?

Comic Sans. It comes bundled with every operating system. It is one of the most widely-recognized fonts since the dawn of the personal computer.

But has there ever been a typeface more hated and ridiculed than Comic Sans?

I think that the last time I saw Comic Sans in use was in an AIM conversation, circa 1998.

Via The Next Web.

Design Updates

Every few months, I feel an overwhelming need to change the design of this site. I’m sure I’m not the only one who experiences these nagging surges of inspiration, as many of you have attested to the same.

Living in a world where the substance of design seeps into every crevice of our lives, we not only primp ourselves but our personal websites as well — after all, in this wired society, it only makes sense that our websites are extensions of our personas.

We are introduced to beautifully-designed websites every day via the many design sources at our disposal. We read about the latest trends in web design and study tutorials on achieving said effects. And with time and experience, we are able to choose and pick what works best for us while staying true to our style and design ethics.

Slowly but surely, our websites become us.

I have been lacking the energy for a complete overhaul. But I did put my hours of insomnia to good use by making some changes that I believe puts an extra coat of polish on this site. These changes include:

new footer
re-designing and re-positioning the datestamp
small design changes to the comments sections
re-organization of the top horizontal menu and the incorporation of drop-down, nested menus
getting rid of the “Friends” section in my sidebar and creating a “Links” section in the top horizontal menu
adding “Currently Reading” and “Recent Comments” sections to my sidebar

What do you think of the changes?

You will also notice that my “Links” pages are now pretty extensive, including a “Favorite Blogs” page featuring choice selections from my Google Reader. (If you have a link that you believe should be included, please let me know.)

I am still not completely satisfied with this design. Will I ever be? Probably not. Just like how I know I’ll never be completely happy with my appearance.

How often do you re-design your site? Are you happy with your current design?

Regressing

Yesterday, I stepped on the scale to find that I had lost 5 lbs in just one week. I know this isn’t healthy, and I really can’t attribute the weight loss to anything but a loss of appetite.

I have never been a thin person because I just love food too much. I am the girl who can polish off a 24 oz steak and then proceed to ask my dinner companions, “Are you going to finish that?” I am the girl who has made multiple runs to Red Lobster just minutes after a commercial pops up on TV (how do they make their commercials look so good?).

But now, food seems unnecessary and inconvenient. Even when I finally find myself craving something, rejoice and set out to satisfy those cravings, I lose the desire after just a bite or two.

It is funny how this baby was an unplanned pregnancy. Having been so independent and detached from human affection all my life, I always considered myself someone who could be perfectly happy without children. In fact, my mother told me that she and my sister had a good laugh when they first heard about the pregnancy because they couldn’t picture me with a baby.

There were even moments during the pregnancy when I asked myself, “Why am I even having this baby? I don’t even like babies.”

Now, a baby is what I want the most in the world.

Pencil Study 1

(click to view large)

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

While browsing miscarriage support forums yesterday, I discovered that a Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day exists.

As if it were perfectly timed, it is today: October 15.

I have been overwhelmed by the kindness of my friends, family, and even strangers following my loss. What surprised me even more was the flood of messages from other women, many of whom I know in real life, who came forward with miscarriage stories of their own.

Today, I feel as if I hit a turning point in my mourning period. Because today, I received a message from a friend who announced that she is pregnant, and is planning on sharing the news publicly – including on Facebook – next week. She wanted to tell me privately first because she had suffered two miscarriages in the past, and knew that seeing pictures of babies and ultrasounds, reading pregnancy updates, etc may be tough on me.

“I felt like I needed to give you a heads up to give you the chance to block me or remove me as a friend [on Facebook].”

Reading her message, I fully expected myself to feel jealous and a bit angry at her for sharing the news with me so soon after my miscarriage. As such, the first thought that popped into my head as I read the above sentence came as a complete surprise:

“Oh, heck no!”

This was the first piece of news I had heard all week that brought a big, goofy smile to my face. I was 100%, genuinely excited and happy for her and her husband. My eyes even teared up in joy. I immediately wrote back to her with a huge note of congratulations and told her that I would be honored to live vicariously through her until I get pregnant again. I wrote that I fully expect frequent updates from her, and I quickly said a word of prayer for her, her husband, and the baby growing in her womb.

My heart is still swelled up in joy at this news, and for the first time since my miscarriage, I feel true hope and happiness.

In commemoration of this day, I wanted to share a video that never ceases to bring tears to my eyes. I’m sure that many of you have seen this video already, but I wanted to share it one more time as a reminder that in the face of tragedy, there is always hope.

Many may view the story of 99 Balloons as a tragedy, and I admit that I did too when I first watched it. But now I see a story of hope, faith, and love.

Will we be trying for a baby soon again? I am not so sure. But I do know that when I get pregnant again, I will not hesitate to share the news again with the public as soon as we find out.

Some may say that I will be setting myself up for disappointment and despair if something goes wrong with the pregnancy. Some may strongly advise me to keep the pregnancy under wraps until we are certain that the baby is healthy and growing well.

But I disagree. As cliché as it may sound, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. This miscarriage has sent me to hell and back. I never thought I was capable of such pain and anguish. Despite the joy that my friend’s good news has brought me, I am still hurting, and I know that I will continue to hurt. However, I know that the love and delight that Tater Tot brought me in its short period here on earth more than makes up for the heartache brought on by the miscarriage.

There will be those who will roll their eyes and think, “Here we go again…” when I announce that I are pregnant again, I am sure. And if I miscarry again (knock on wood), they will wonder why I bothered to make the announcement again so soon.

But as the story of baby Eliot can attest, hope avails. Even though Eliot’s situation has brought much heartbreak to his parents, friends, and family, it brought to millions worldwide a story of hope and love. And I’m sure that it brought to his loved ones great comfort in sharing their grief with the world.

My First DSLR

You may also like:

How a 3-Year-Old Views the NYC Subway

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Sacrificing for Family

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“I Never Got to Hold My Children”

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The Follow-Up Visit

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Comic Sans: The Most Hated Typeface in Existence?

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Design Updates

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Regressing

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Pencil Study 1

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Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

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