Mar 3, 2010  •  In Personal, Relationships

The Death Folder

The last time my sister came to visit, she asked if she could use J’s laptop to check her email.

“Hold on, I’m almost done with my stuff. Why don’t you use my laptop instead?”

“It’s ok, J’s laptop is right here; I’ll just use this one.”

“Ermm…I don’t know the password to unlock his computer.”

Really?

Obviously my sister thought it weird that I didn’t know my own husband’s computer password.

J and I have always been like this. We do not know each other’s passwords, PINs, social security numbers, account numbers, etc. We do not have a joint bank account. Heck…we don’t even open each others’ mail!

I had a slight problem with this in the earlier stages of our relationship, but it no longer bothers me. We have nothing to hide from each other, and if one person ever needs the other’s information, we just simply ask (and forget).

In an old episode of HIMYM, Marshall and Lily create “death folders” for each other in case one of them dies unexpectedly. Each death folder contains all important account information, passwords, PINs, and instructions. J and I will be making death folders as well, but we have yet to do so out of sheer laziness (we will soon — I promise!).

If you are in a committed relationship, have you created a death folder for your significant other? Or do you just openly share passwords, etc with each other?

Do you think it’s weird — as my sister does — that a husband and wife do not openly share this important information with each other?

You may also like:

Mar 3, 2010  •  In Books, Pregnancy, Reviews

Pregnancy Book Reviews

As an avid reader and a book whore, one of the first things I did after getting a positive pregnancy test was to head to the bookstore and buy a pregnancy book!

I have since bought quite a few more (and been gifted a great one) so I thought I’d share my thoughts on them with my readers…

What to Expect When You’re Expecting, 2 stars

Widely considered a “must-have” book for all expecting women, this was one of the first books I purchased.

My personal thoughts on it? Eh. Everything in the book can be found online. In fact, I’ve found that online resources like BabyCenter have much more information than this book. I really think it’s overhyped and not organized well.

 

Your Pregnancy Week by Week, 3 stars

I personally found this book to be better than What to Expect. But, as with What to Expect, nothing in the book can’t be found online.

 

The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy, 2.5 stars

I was really excited about this book because it’s gotten such great reviews. But I have to say I was disappointed. The author isn’t that funny, nor is her writing that great. As for the advice? There was nothing I read in this book that I haven’t heard before.

 

Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth, 3.5 stars

I really, really liked this book. It made me laugh, it made me cry, and it also made me make a copy of a page and post it on the fridge for my husband to see.

This is not the book to go for if you are seeking cold, hard facts, but it is certainly an entertaining read and a great introduction to “my body will do what?” questions.

 

Baby Bargains, 8th Edition, 4 stars

My sister bought this for me when I first found out I was pregnant. Her boyfriend’s sister had claimed it as the “best baby book ever” and I can’t agree more!

As I’ve stated in above reviews, practically everything you need to know about pregnancy can be found online. This book goes into what you will need to prepare for the baby. Not only does it distinguish between the essentials and the frivolities, it gives you the best items in multiple price levels, as well as reviews for every brand.

J and I are pretty practical when it comes to purchasing things for the baby (for example, we will rely on a lot of hand-me-downs and we’re perfectly fine with that) and I can’t imagine myself ever spending over $1,000 for a stroller that the baby will never really appreciate. This book has really cut the clutter and helped me budget. I very, strongly recommend it for all new mothers!

 

What to Expect When You’re Expected: A Fetus’s Guide to the First Three Trimesters, 1 star

I had high hopes for this book; I really did. But the fact of the matter is, the book is not funny and not worth the money.

 

Do you have any recommendations for pregnancy books?

You may also like:

Mar 2, 2010  •  In Asian, Education, Korean, Personal

The Curse of the Model Minority

Last month, I came across an article titled “Do colleges redline Asian-Americans?” and I still haven’t been able to get it out of my mind.

Do colleges really set a higher standard for Asian Americans? If this is true, as the article implies, the same must hold true for places of employment, no?

When I applied for colleges, or whenever I applied for jobs, I always happily volunteered my ethnicity on application forms. After all, my last name is nothing but Asian. But at the same time, I knew that being Asian gave me a slight disadvantage.

(Going slightly off tangent, I have always envied my Filipino-American friends for their Hispanic-sounding surnames. You can’t deny that they are more likely to be offered an interview because the college/company would like more diversity in their communities.)

Berate me all you want, but I have never been a fan of affirmative action for this reason (ETA: to be more specific, afirmation action based on race.). I strongly believe that people should be accepted to colleges and be offered jobs based on merit, not ethnicity.

Previous generations of Asian Americans have given up so much so that their kids (and grandchildren, great-grandchildren, etc) can have the same opportunities as the Caucasians of this country. I know Asians have come a long way in America, but what is the point if we are considered “model minorities” who are held to a higher standard solely based on our race?

It sucks that my kids will have to earn better grades than their white friends just to be accepted to the same schools. Or that I, as well as my many intelligent, creative, and outstanding Asian-American peers have been subjected to this reverse discrimination all our lives.

</rant>

You may also like:

Mar 1, 2010  •  In Comang, Personal

Pip the British Schoolboy

When we first got Comang his previous owners handed over all his grooming supplies (including an electric trimmer) and I was sure that we would be able to groom him ourselves.

Our first grooming experience was the stuff of legends. Fur flying everywhere. Sneeze attacks from the fine fur that refused to settle to the ground. J shouting “Be careful!” every time I got within an inch of Comang’s manhood. Then…a blackout.

Yes, our neighborhood experienced a power outage midway through our first grooming session. What timing! Trying to locate a flashlight in the pitch black dark is never fun. Try doing that in the midst of a crazed dog grooming session. Needless to say, Comang got loose in the dark and we found his fur in every conceivable corner of the apartment for the next few months.

It was a sign. We called it a loss and decided to have Comang professionally groomed from then on.

Luckily, there is a fantastic dog groomer (they call themselves a “pet spa”) just two blocks from our house. I love them, because not only do they have a top-notch groomer, they are a local business and I am always apt to support “the little guys” over the likes of Petsmart.

Comang loves it there too. He’s quite girly and loves to be pampered, petted, and be made pretty. Everyone fawns over him at this groomer and they constantly tell me that he’s one of the best-behaved dogs on their clientele list.

Since our monthly grooming session was today, I decided to take some “before” and “after” pictures…

Before. When it is time for a haircut, Comang tends to resemble an old drunk. Here he has some horrific bedhair from the nap I interrupted.

After. For about a week following his haircut, J and I call our dog “Pip.” Pip the British schoolboy. Doesn’t he look like a Pip, all prim and proper?

All he’s missing are a waistcoat, a hat, and a walking stick!

You may also like:

Mar 1, 2010  •  In Pregnancy

Week 9

Dear Baby,

You are now officially considered a “fetus” by the medical world. (BTW, I hate that term — it holds an impersonal, medical connotation with me. You’ve been my baby since conception and I will consider you my baby, not fetus.) Your “tail” is now completely gone, and all the basic physical structures are now in place!

Measuring nearly an inch long, you are now about the size of a green olive, or a grape. Your heart has completed dividing into four chambers, and the valves have started to form. Your kidney is functioning now, which means you’ve started urinating!

As for external features, your sex organs are now visible, but will not be distinguishable for another few weeks. Your eyes are fully formed — even your tiny irises — but unfortunately, your eyelids are formed shut and won’t open until you are 27 weeks old. Your nose and ears are developing distinct features too. In fact, your inner ears are already filled with fluid, so you’re starting to gain a sense of balance.

As for me, more pregnancy symptoms have crept into my life within the past week. My breasts are definitely sore, tender, and fuller now. I’m still tired all the time but I have started to pee a lot more too, which means that my days (nights?) of getting a full-night’s sleep is now over. Fortunately my nausea is still minimal and I am able to keep down a full mean without a problem.

My lower stomach is now hard and rounded. I am taking this as a good sign, that you are still growing and doing well in there! Your father loves to put his hand on my stomach, even just to say, “Hi baby!”

I have yet to schedule my NT scan, although my OB recommended I do so at my last appointment. If all goes well Friday, I will call the hospital and do so right away. I will also order a fetal doppler if the appointment on shows no problems — I am too paranoid to just keep waiting and “let it be” until I start feeling you moving!

I can’t wait to see you again on Friday!

You may also like:

Mar 1, 2010  •  In Baby, Personal

Keeping the Name a Secret

J has a complex about baby names: if he knows anyone in real life with a certain name (even if he hasn’t talked to that person since the 2nd grade), it’s out.

Not surprisingly, this makes naming our children quite difficult as he is one of the most natural connectors I’ve ever known.

Luckily we were able to settle on two names (one boy, one girl) quite early in the baby-planning process. So when people asked if we have any potential names, I happily obliged…

…and experienced the wrath of my husband.

I know that many couples choose to keep the names of their unborn children a secret for various reasons. Some may want to leave it a surprise so that when the baby is born, a proper introduction can be made to the world. Others decide not to reveal the name lest someone will make a snide comment about the name (apparently, negative comments about the name are more likely to stay silent once a live, squirming baby is attached to it).

J wants to keep it a secret because he’s scared that someone will steal it.

I personally think his reasoning is ridiculous — we would only reveal the name to friends and family, and what friend/family will steal a baby name? In addition, if we keep the names a secret, isn’t it more likely that someone we know will use that name?

But he stands firm on this decision. He says that he’s seen it happen before, and he does not want to go through the entire name-choosing process again.

Do you, or did you, have named picked out for your unborn children? What is your stance on the keeping-the-name-a-secret issue?

You may also like:

Feb 27, 2010  •  In Korean, Personal, Relationships, Sports

Genetically Gifted

I once dated a guy who informed me on our third date that while he found me very attractive, thought that I was intelligent, funny, and met many of his criteria, he could never see the relationship progressing to a serious level because he could never marry someone like me.

“Um…why not?”

“Because you’re so petite.”

“What does being short have to do with anything?”

“I always wanted to marry someone tall and lean, with long, graceful limbs so that our kids will have the same traits.”

I took a cold hard look at him. He stood tall at 6’1″ with the lean build and long limbs that he so desired in his partner. He was fairly attractive and had the physical attributes of what our modern world considers genetically gifted.

I then considered myself. I do not think I’m too attractive, but I wouldn’t label myself an uggo either. However, I am flat-out short at 5’1″. I have short arms and legs. And while I’m short, I’m also curvy. I am by no means “lean.”

This guy and I got along well, made each other laugh, and the physical attraction was definitely there. I really thought I could see a future with him…until we had this conversation, that is.

Needless to day, the relationship did not progress much after this date. Who was I to deny this man [what he considers] genetic gifts he would like passed down to his children?

Soon, the guy faded into memory, stored in the deep corner of my brain labeled “assholes I’ve dated prior to meeting J.” However, I was forced to revisit the file when yesterday, I read an article entitled “Kim Yu-na’s Body Shape Sets Her Apart” in The Chosun Ilbo (one of Korea’s most prominent newspapers).

The Korean media is known for tediously analyzing celebrities’ physical attributes, even going as far as to whipping out measuring tapes mid-interview. This article is no exception; the Olympic gold medalist’s body is placed on a pedestal for observation and admiration.

Kim’s body proportion is often said to be the perfect golden ratio. The Chosun Ilbo has obtained her measurements from uniform maker INS 102, which measured Kim at a hotel in Seoul in December.

Standing 164 cm tall and weighing 47 kg [104 lbs], Kim’s lower body from waist to the ankle bone measures 96 cm [38 in], almost double the length of her torso, which is 50 cm [20 in]. Fashion stylist Kim Seong-il said, “With normal people, if the ratio of the upper and the lower body is 4.5:5.5, we consider them long-legged. Because of her long legs, Kim’s jumps look bigger and more elegant.”

Her long and slender arms, which measure 68 cm [27 in], also help boost her expression grade. Dr Chung Jae-young at Jelim Plastic Surgery Clinic said, “Normally, the length of your arms stretched out matches your height. But for Kim, the length of both arms plus her shoulder width, which is 46cm [18 in], is almost 180 cm [71 in]. Her arms are very long.” That makes small arm movements look softer and more fluid.

So essentially, Kim Yu-Na’s body shape is ideal for being a figure skater. Her long legs give the illusion of higher and more elegant jumps. Her long arms help her movements look more graceful.

It goes by no surprise that the large majority of successful athletes were dealt the lucky hand in the gene pool — what is the percentage of NBA players who stand under 6’4″ tall? Or NFL linebackers who weigh under 230 lbs? Genetics definitely go on to play significant roles in many athlete’s lives, and Kim Yu-Na is no exception.

Upon further examination of the article, the line “overdevelopment of muscles in certain parts of the body such as upper arms or thighs can make movements look stiff” caught my eye. I have thick arms and legs, mostly due to the fact that when I work out, I tend to easily build muscle mass in my upper arms and thighs. Is this why I have never been considered graceful?

I am obviously not a professional athlete. But after pondering the conversation I had with the man above, as well as what the Chosun Ilbo article implies, I couldn’t help but wonder what if. What if I had been tall (both my parents are short)? What if I had been given a leaner, longer body type? Would I have become more successful in my professional, athletic, and romantic life?

I can honestly say that I did not consciously choose to marry J based on his genes. However, the fact that he’s attractive, fairly tall, and musically as well as athletically gifted did not hurt. I am certain that the same holds true for J. Whenever I get worried that our kids will have my short genes, he says, “Don’t worry — just look at Ray Rice or Nate Robinson!”

How many of you are/were on the lookout for
good genes when choosing a partner?

Would you ever reject a potential partner due to that fact that he/she does not posess the genetic traits you would like passed down to your kids?

You may also like:

Feb 26, 2010  •  In Comang, NYC, Personal

Is Anyone Else Sick of the Snow?

A blizzard is sweeping across the area…again.

Here’s a view of my street at 7am this morning. We are expecting several more inches.

Walking Comang was quite an adventure. I can’t say that he enjoyed the experience, as whenever he took a pause he would inevitably sink into the foot-deep snow and require assistance.

 

I don’t know about you, but I am sooooo ready for winter to be over. I am sick of putting on layers upon layers whenever I leave the house. I am sick of the dirty brown snow piled on the sidewalks. I am sick of having sore neck and shoulders at the end of the day (because I scrunch up my shoulders when I’m cold).

J and I haven’t taken a single vacation together since our honeymoon two years ago. I’m hoping for a big tax refund so that we can at least have a weekend getaway before the baby arrives.

You may also like:

Feb 26, 2010  •  In Funny

Canadian WIN

In response to the US Men’s Hockey Team’s historic win over the Canadian team Sunday night:

Via tiagovaz.org

You may also like:

Feb 24, 2010  •  In Pregnancy

Week 8

Dear Baby,

I am a few days late posting the weekly update, and I hope that this doesn’t turn into a habit!

I am definitely starting to get a bump and my pants are getting tight around the waist. Ever since seeing you (and hearing you!) your father has become a bit more affectionate — he’s finally started to touch my belly and yells at your older (furry) brother when he jumps on me. When we spoon at night, his hand always manages to find its way to my stomach. And the first thing that he does when he wakes up is to place his hand on my bump to say “good morning.”

Baby, you are now the size of a raspberry. Your arms and legs and waving wildly about as you get used to these strange contraptions that are now dangling from your torso.

Your fingers and toes are webbed, but the twenty digits will separate within the next few weeks. Your tail has just about disappeared, and you are starting to look more and more human (and less like a seahorse) every day.

I still get very scared that you have stopped growing inside of me. They say that pregnant women wish for a window into our abdomen through which we can check on our little one, and I am no exception. I look forward to my next exam on March 5 with fear and anticipation…the days really couldn’t go fast enough!

You may also like: