A couple of months ago, I was making conversation with a nice, elderly lady at church. And typical of mothers who do not know each other well, we defaulted to the topic of our children.

“Just thirteen months apart? That must be tough!” she exclaimed when I told her about Claire and Aerin.

“Yes, but everyone tells me that these first couple of years will be tough, but that it will be soooo worth it after that,” I replied. “How about you? How many children do you have?”

“Four. And they were all born right after the other, which was not uncommon back in those days. At one point, we had four under five!”

My eyes bulged out from their sockets. And here I was, thinking I had it rough!

“Any tips for a new mother?” I asked.

“Just take it one day at a time. But other than that, I’m afraid I don’t have much advice. Those early years were so hard that I seemed to have blocked a big chunk of it from my memory.”

I nodded understandably. My mother too, has trouble recalling the most difficult parts of her life. She calls it biological amnesia.

“Oh! But I do like to offer up a piece of advice to all married couples!” the lady continued. “Always put your marriage first, because without it, your kids wouldn’t even exist. Take periodic breaks from your children and just enjoy each other. Be sure to have regular date nights.”

“My husband and I used to have monthly date nights. But now, even that is difficult…” I responded.

“No, that’s not good enough. In the forty years of our marriage, my husband and I had date nights every Friday night. And we’ve only missed it six times.“

And that’s when my jaw dropped.