Redditor Cabbagetroll has written the stories of the Bible in TL;DR (that's "too long; didn't read" for you clueless folks) form. GENESISGod:  All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.Adam & Eve:  Okay.Satan:  You should do the thing.Adam & Eve:  Okay.God:  What happened!?Adam & Eve:  We did the thing.God:  Guys THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENTGod:  You are my people, and you should not do the things.People:  We won't do the things.God:  Good.People:  We did the things.God:  Guys THE GOSPELSJesus:  I am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don't do the things anymore.Healed people:  Okay! Thank you!Other people:  We've...