Alexandra, aka Mrs. Shortcake, has written a beautiful post titled No One Here But Us Chickens at her blog Our Little Haus. My eyes started tearing up as soon as I read the line "I consider myself a mother, whose babies are no longer alive," because this is exactly how I feel. Go read it now. ...

J and I returned to the OB's office today to have my post-D&C follow-up. After a brief examination, the doctor happily informed me that everything looks perfect. She said that we can try for another baby as soon as we feel ready. "Is there anything we can do to prevent another miscarriage?" "Unfortunately, not much at this point. I have found over the years that a surprisingly large number of women miscarry...

We did not get an ultrasound yesterday because this particular doctor did not have an ultrasound machine on premises. He had discovered the bleeding after a pelvic exam, and while he put me on bedrest, he advised us to get an ultrasound right away. Luckily, we were able to get an appointment with another doctor this morning. I immediately liked her, and kept thinking inside my head, "We found our OB!" She was warm, energetic and friendly, and told me more about the pregnancy in 15 minutes of conversation than all my past doctor visits combined. But as soon as the grainy image flickered onto the screen, I knew something was wrong. "...

After weeks of filing out forms and waiting...

Withdrawl is a defense mechanism I have mastered over the almost-29 years of my life. When I feel down, I withdraw. It's simple as that. So I guess this is my excuse for my absence from the online world. Bye-bye, IM, Twitter, Facebook, and blogging. Hello, wallowing in my cave of self-pity. What is causing this dip in my life? A couple of months ago, the mister was laid off. We had already been struggling a bit to make ends meet (ever since I left my full-time job), but now we're really in the red. We've used up our savings in these past two months, and now we're broke. Broke, broke, broke. Sure, J gets some money from unemployment insurance. But you try living...