Geek in Heels - Page 153

May 18, 2010 • In Parenting, Personal

J thinks that I will be an overly overprotective parent.

I firmly disagree.

I believe that there is an age up to which a child should be protected and nurtured because they just don’t know better. However, we must also educate our children during this period to be aware of dangers, to learn to fend for themselves, and to also take the occasional injury as a learning experience.

And after this age? I will encourage my children to live life and learn from their mistakes. This is not to say that I will let them do whatever they want; rather, I will not be opposed to their taking risks just as long as they are not unreasonable. After all, taking risks starting at a young age is important so that children can realize their own limitations.

I will not be an over-coddling parent.

Living in the “Bubble Wrap Generation,” it saddens me to know that my kids will not be able to have the same childhood that J and I were allowed. Where we were allowed to play outside with friends — without adult supervision — until dark. Where it was not unusual to return home with cuts and scrapes and blood-stained clothes. Where playground injuries were learning experiences, not the cause for lawsuits.

It’s sad to think that my kids might never experience a playground
like this. Doesn’t it look fun?

Now, every playdate is carefully orchestrated by parents and the kids watched over with hawk-like eyes. Playgrounds are boring affairs with no nooks and crannies, no high swings or slides, or even sand. (When was the last time you saw a metal merry-go-round or a seesaw at a public playground?) No kids play outside anymore, and when asked why, parents will often respond, “No one else lets their kids play outside, so my kids will be bored anyway.”

It is no surprise that childhood obesity rates are an all-time high.

We live in an age where our nation is ruled by the fear of lawsuits. After all, a broken arm can fetch up to $100,000 (after paying the attorney fees) if the injury occurred on a playground. If that happened in my generation, the child would have gotten a tongue-lashing from the parents for being careless, then taken to the hospital with no involvement from the legal system.

There comes a point when the idea of “being safe” becomes an obsession to the point where it becomes impossible to have any kind of enjoyment in life.

I will not cover my kids in bubble wrap.

Who Knew Skynet Started Off As A Printer?

Via Geekologie.

Unconditional Love — Is “The Giving Tree” a Depressing Book?

When I was little, I asked my mother what love is.

“Love is something you give away. But unlike other things, the more you give the more you receive in return. If you give one, you get two. If you give two, you get four, and so on. But you shouldn’t give love just for the sake of getting more. You should love as God loves us.”

This statement has had a profound impact on me since I was that curious little girl of four.

Perhaps this is the reason I still cite Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree as one of my favorite books of all time.

A few years ago, I attended my cousin’s daughter’s 1-year birthday party and I decided to gift The Giving Tree, along with a couple of other Shel Silverstein books, as a present.

A younger cousin decided to flip through The Giving Tree when the celebrations began winding down. He had never read, or even heard of the book before, so I awaited his finishing the book with great anticipation.

“Wow, that was DEPRESSING!” he declared as he closed the book shut with a flourish.

“What are you talking about? It’s a great book that teaches the concept of unconditional love, either from parents or from God. It’s one of my favorites!” I countered.

“Yeah, I get that. But don’t you think it’s too dreary for little kids?”

“No…”

However, I did see his point. And I was reminded of this incident once again when I read this quote from Ryan Gosling on Best Week Ever regarding The Giving Tree:

That book is so f**ked up; that story’s the worst. I mean, at the end the tree is a stump and the old guy just sitting on him; he’s just used him to death, and you’re supposed to want to be the tree? F**k you. You be the tree. I don’t want to be the tree.

I was taken back, and shocked further to read that the author of the post, as well as the majority of commentered, agreed with Gosling that The Giving Tree is a depressing, “f**ked up” book.

What say you? Do you think that The Giving Tree is a depressing book?

I can definitely see how people would think so; we live in an imperfect, cynical world. As humans, we are incapable of perfect, unconditional love. Additionally, attempting to love someone with the type of love described in the book has the potential to have devastating effects — whether through heartbreak, unnecessary sacrifice, and/or devaluation of oneself.

But I still stand firm that we should strive for perfect love, as God loves us.

Just as my mother taught me 26 years ago.

And I plan on teaching my kids this important lesson too.

Comang with Daddy

I know that I constantly chide J for acting immature, but whenever I see him with Comang I can’t help but just know that he will make a wonderful father to our little girl.

photo taken with my Moto Droid, edited with Totally Rad actions

The best relationship advice I’ve ever been given is, “Do not marry a man unless you would be proud if your son turned out just like him.” I’d be over the moon if our future son(s) turn out like J, and I’d be pretty damn proud if our daughter takes after him too.

The Lemon Clot Essay

I know that I have a good 4 months to go before baby girl is ready to come sliding out of my hoo-ha, but this topic has been weighing heavily on my mind.

The essay below is a popular one in the BabyCenter boards, has been posted in numerous threads and is a topic of much discussion. Take a look…

The Lemon Clot Essay by Sharon1964

You will be leaking out of places you don’t want to leak out of. Do you really want to stand up from the couch and have your father’s parents see that not only have you bled through your pad, but the blood is now running down your leg. Do you really want to say, “honey, can you come with me to the bathroom, I am bleeding all over and I feel a huge bloodclot coming out”… in front of them? Contrast that to “mom, I need your help please, now, I’m bleeding all over!” Does your husband really understand the volume of stuff that will be coming out of you, the possibility of lemon-sized clots of blood? Not 2-dimensional lemon-sized, but huge, round, 3-dimensional lemon-sized?

How many bathrooms do you have? If only one, do you REALLY want to have to make it “guest-level clean” every time you leave it? Do you really want this gang of people ogling your diaper-sized pads, peribottle, tucks pads, and all the other supplies that will be in the bathroom? Even if you have two bathrooms, that means you can’t use the main bathroom, because you still have to leave it “guest-level clean” every time you use it.

Do they really plan to do something other than hold the baby, pass the baby around, and sit around expecting you guys to wait on them? Are they going to sit and stare at you? Thirty minutes after they arrive, and baby wants to breastfeed, are they going to quickly and willingly LEAVE your home so that you can breastfeed in the privacy and comfort of your space? Or are they going to hang around outside, waiting for you to be done, and knocking every so often wanting to know if they can come back in? Yeah, that’s great for breastfeeding.

Or better yet, are they going to blow you off, saying “it’s no big deal”, and expect you to breastfeed in front of them? Even experienced moms need several weeks of practice to get good at it, so to speak, so that they can breastfeed wherever they want. Learning to breastfeed is not a time for people to ogle and stare at you.

When your breasts are engorged and painful and you want NOTHING to touch them, what then? Does your dh think it will be okay for his dad to stare at your huge naked breasts as you walk around topless?

What if your birth is smack in the middle of their trip? So what are they going to do the first few days, before baby? Are they going to sit and stare at you, waiting for the big moment? Then what? Are they going to camp out in your hospital room every day, all day? Yeah, that’s great for resting. What happens when you leave the hospital and they beat you to your own home, and all you want to do is lay down in your own bed? Are they going to leave graciously, or are they going to sit in your living room, eating your food, messing up your house, and making noise, so you can’t nap?

Does your DH normally allow people to invite themselves over to visit you guys without even ASKING? You guys are setting yourselves up for a lifetime of this. Then you will be blamed when you try to tell them that it is not a good time for you.

Does your DH understand ANY of these things?? Does he not understand that it is NOT about entertaining guests, but about recovery from a major medical procedure (either vaginal or c-section)? Does he not understand that you just grew another human being in your body, and will have just gone through the process of getting it out?? This is going to be an exhausting, messy, wildly hormonal time. Does he not get that??

******************************************

Who Can Even be on the List to be Considered to Stay at Your Home After Childbirth by Sharon1964

You know, nobody gets to stay in your home after birth unless they are helpful. So is his mother going to…. wash your bloody underwear in the sink? Clean and disinfect your toilet and perhaps the bathroom floor after you spend time in there? Clean up lemon size blood clots that come out of your vagina if you need help? Get hot washcloths and lay them on your naked engorged breasts? Hold a cold wet washcloth on the back of your neck when you break out in a sweat all over?

Is she going to cook for you and clean for you and do the laundry, and make sure you are stocked with diapers and wipes and clean blankets? Is she going to allow you to breastfeed in private in your own living room by either going to her room or going outside? Is she going to allow you to pick up your own crying baby? Is she going to ASK you if you would like her to get the baby for you since you may be sore? Is she going to disappear when you want alone time with your new baby and your husband? Is she going to refrain from giving you advice but instead ask you what you need?

And what’s his dad going to do? Is he going to cut the grass and take out the garbage and make runs to the store for juice and milk? Is he going to wash the car or walk the dog or change the cat litter box?

No? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

My family, who lives 45 mins away, has already agreed that they will not come for visits after the birth unless I ask first. My mother will make me tons of 미역국 (mi-yuk-gook, or Korean seaweed soup, which is traditionally served to new mothers to replenish and clean their blood supply) and will deliver lots of other food that I may be craving. If I end up having a c-section, or a very difficult delivery, I may even ask her to stay with us for a few days until I am mobile.

J’s parents will most likely visit for at least 2-3 months, but they will not be staying with us because the guest room will be turned into a nursery (they will be staying at J’s brother’s place which is 10 mins away). However, they have expressed that they would like to visit as much as possible because they don’t want to leave me alone with the baby when J goes back to work.

The problem with this is that as much as their intentions are well-meaning, I am not so sure that I want my in-laws (or anyone, for that matter) around for extended periods of time after I give birth — for the reasons stated in the Lemon Clot Essay, and because I am a very introverted person who likes and needs my alone time.

I am also concerned that I am at higher risk for post-partum depression due to my history with major depression. While my family is fully aware and understanding of my depression, I’m pretty sure that my in-laws do not even know about it. I would be forcing myself to mask my emotions and symptoms, adding a lot of stress to my already-fragile body and psyche.

And as caring as my MIL can be, she just isn’t my mother. I can never ask her to scrub the stains from my underwear, or to apply warm compresses to my breasts…or to even freely show her my breasts!

However, I don’t want to deny them of their first grandchild either, especially seeing as they live so far away…

How did all moms handle family, in-laws, and friends visiting after birth? What would you recommend?

Even if you are not a mom, how would you handle the situation?

3D Ultrasound Pictures!

Earlier today, we went in for our second 3D ultrasound (we got a free repeat session because the baby was in an unfavorable position the first time). While the baby cooperated a bit better this time around, she still had her hands in front of her face for most of the session, causing much poking from the ultrasound technician, my rolling over to either sides, and downing an entire Snapple bottle to get her movin’.

We also discovered that I have an anterior placenta — where the placenta is positioned in the front side of my uterus with the baby behind it — which makes it more difficult to get good ultrasound pictures.

Nonetheless, I was happy to see my little girl active and thriving inside my belly. We confirmed that she is, in fact, a girl, and managed to get a few good shots (out of 61!).

The top of her face is covered here, but this one is my favorite because you can clearly see that she’s smiling!

An alien-esque profile shot:

She almost looks contemplative here…

This picture is from our first session. I decided to include it because of the cute little fingers!

The ideal time to have 3D/4D ultrasounds is in the low 30th weeks. By then, the baby will have developed enough fat to have the cute chubbiness associated with babies, and will actually look similar to how he/she will look when born. Earlier than that, and the baby may not look like he/she will when born; later weeks may pose a problem getting a good shot as the baby will not be able to move around as much.

Although the ultrasound facility gave us a $50-off coupon for a later session, we will most likely forgo it. The main purpose of this elective ultrasound was to find out the sex of our baby a few weeks early. Getting to see how she looks inside the womb was just an extra treat.

Let Me Sniff Your Stinky Paws

This post is dedicated to my sister, with whom I have had many conversations about how we love to sniff our dogs’ stinky paws.

I’m sure that all dog owners can agree: there is a certain (irresistible) aroma about our furry friends’ paws.

It’s not a bad scent, per se. The closest description I’ve heard is “corn chips.” Except you know how when you apply self-tanner and end up smelling like corn chips?…This smell is better than that. It’s more of a satisfying, settled smell.

Today, I learned that there may be an explanation for “Frito feet” (as the author affectionately calls the phenomenon):

Bacteria and yeast naturally reside on the skin of all animals, including cats and dogs. The feet of both species contain many folds and pockets, such as the areas between toes and the spaces between the foot pads. These areas have increased levels of moisture and decreased air circulation at the level of the skin.

The increased moisture and decreased air circulation in these environments enables the resident bacteria and yeast to proliferate exuberantly. These micro-organisms give off odors, and I suspect that they are the cause of Frito feet. Because cats groom themselves more thoroughly than dogs, they are less likely to have foot odor.

One bacteria in particular is famous for smelling like corn tortillas. That bacteria is called Pseudomonas. It is often associated with skin or ear infections, and I can’t promise that it has anything to do with causing Frito feet. But I am a bit suspicious.

See, not all stink-inducing bacteria is bad! And seeing as it only encourages me, along with other dog owners, to purposely position our heads near our napping friends’ paws in order to fully take in that calming scent, who is to judge our pets for being a bit dirty? (Or judge their owners for prolonging that bath one extra day?)

Let’s hear it, folks. Does anyone else love to sniff their dogs’ paws?

Via Boing Boing.

Nutrition Facts, Redesigned

While I am a foodie, I’m not the healthiest person in the world when it comes to eating.

Alright, I eat like crap. (Don’t worry, I’ve gotten a lot better since I got pregnant.)

So it should come to no surprise that I hardly ever pay attention to nutrition facts labels. Ingredients. Vitamins/minerals. Measurements. Percentages. Yawn.

Maybe if it were prettier…

Oh, wait.

How GORGEOUS are the re-designed nutritional facts on this milk carton?

While it is only a concept, I would buy this carton of milk (even if it cost a bit more) and enjoy ogling it — not just to learn exactly what goes into my body, but to admire its lovely, educational design.

Via FlowingData.

P.S. — I am slightly burned, but only on one side of my body (where the sun was at its strongest). Will I end up with an uneven tan? Is there anything I can do?

P.P.S. — After spending some time in HOT weather, I’m thinking of cutting my hair to a shoulder-length, wavy bob. J says that he prefers long hair on me, but that it’s ultimately up to me. What do you think? Should I go for it and chop off 5 inches?

I really, really miss Comang.

That is all.

New Pantone Matching System Released!

Most of my readers may brush off this news, but I have some exciting news for all my fellow color lovers and print designers…

Today, Pantone released the Pantone Plus Series, an update to the ubiquitous Pantone Matching System!

The new series does not only include 566 new colors, it also hosts a myriad of new features such as the chromatic arrangement of colors for more intuitive selection, an expanded palette of spot colors, the addition of new premium metallics, and a broader range of neons.

The Plus Series also brings with it digital tools such as the Pantone Color Manager software and a new sexy iPad app. You can see it in action in the video below…and dang I would buy an iPad just for that app!

According to the video, Pantone released just 500 colors with its first color guide in 1963. With the release of the Pantone Plus Series, that number is now 5,024.

I know that no one can really own color, but Pantone comes pretty close, don’t you think?

Read the full press release here.

Via Core77.

The Bubble Wrap Generation

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Who Knew Skynet Started Off As A Printer?

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Unconditional Love — Is “The Giving Tree” a Depressing Book?

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Comang with Daddy

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The Lemon Clot Essay

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3D Ultrasound Pictures!

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Let Me Sniff Your Stinky Paws

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Nutrition Facts, Redesigned

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I really, really miss Comang.

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New Pantone Matching System Released!

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