I have been avoiding my weekly updates for two reasons: We found out that we had lost our first baby at 12 weeks, so I wanted to make sure that "the jinxed week" would go by without a problem. As April approaches, I have been getting more and more depressed. I've been experiencing overwhelming guilt for doing this to the baby in my stomach, and I feel like a horrible mother. But lately, all the horrible feelings from my miscarriage has been rushing back and I am in a relapse of the grieving period. I am so, so sorry, baby. I apologize in advance if you end up reading this years down the road, and feel cheated of all the love and attention that...