As if the first time around wasn’t bad enough…
Lately I have been confronted by friends and family who asked me not to share so much online, FOR MY OWN GOOD.
The “inappropriateness” of my blog (and what I choose to share on Facebook and Twitter) was not only limited to the pregnancy and miscarriage, but extended to all aspects of my life. My relationship with J. My struggle with depression. So on and so forth.
I know that they are concerned on my behalf and only voicing their opinions because they care. But I could not help but be angered.
It may seem like I overshare, but believe me, there are A LOT worse things that I have chosen to censor. With every stroke of my keyboard that becomes public on the web, I am careful not to hurt or offend my friends and family.
“Sure, you may not be hurting us directly. But can’t you see that when you hurt, we hurt?”
This is a valid argument. However, please be assured that I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. If anything, blogging is therapeutic and helps me get through those rough patches.
As for my future children reading this blog? I want them to read it! I want to them see what their mom was like, how she lived her life, and what the world was like through her eyes. Will they be embarassed or ashamed of me? That is a possibility, yes. But what child isn’t at one point in their lives? I would rather that they know the full, real ME.
Perhaps wearing my emotions on my sleeve for all to gawk at is a reaction to having been raised in a culture where showing only your best face to the public is held in such importance. My parents hardly talk about their lives, and even now, they choose to keep things from me and my sister. Do you know how sad it is to feel like you do not know your own mother and father?
This blog has not reached a status to have started receiving hatemail. However, whenever I get good feedback the following four words are always included:
“I love your honesty.”
You know what? I love my honesty too. Sometimes it can come across as being blunt. Something my candor can seem offensive, or even inappropriate. But if I can’t be honest to myself (because this blog is an extension of myself), who can I be honest to?