This past weekend, Neatorama posted an article called U.S. Economy Sucks, So Illegal Immigrants Are Goin’ Home!

I was immediately reminded of Mario, a worker at my parents’ old dry cleaners.

A Mexican immigrant, Mario worked the heavy press machines. He worked at the store for almost the entire 15 years of my parents’ tenure. Slowly but steadily he was able to build his salary to $700 a week.

A few years after Mario started working at the store, he married a fellow Mexican immigrant named Maria. He was able to procure a position for her at the same store. She didn’t work as many hours as him, and earned $400 a week.

Although the store was located in the wealthy suburban area of Weschester, NY, Mario and Maria rented a tiny apartment and kept their living expenses at a minimum. They did not save the surplus money; rather, they sent it to their family in Mexico.

Over the years, they were able to send enough money home for their relatives to buy two houses and send several younger cousins to college.

All on just $1,100 a week.

Reading this article made me think of Mario and wonder how he and Maria are doing. Do they still work at the same store? Did they, like many other Mexicans, choose to go back to our neighbor to the south?

As depressing as the article was, it put a smile on my face as I thought back to Mario and Maria. I hope they’re doing well.

I finished the corticosteroids that the doctor prescribed but did not see any improvements. So I did the unthinkable: I told my mother.

She freaked out as expected. She yelled at me for not having told her sooner and immediately called my uncle in LA who is an Asian holistic doctor and acupuncturist. He in turn yelled at her for not treating it right away.

“Western medicine still debates the causes of partial facial paralysis, and most western doctors will just tell her to live with it until the symptoms gradually disappear. But the chances for full recovery diminishes the longer you wait due to muscle atrophy…you have to take her to a doctor of Asian medicine right away. She needs acupuncture and possibly herbal medicine.”

I went to an Asian medicine doctor last night. He asked many questions, far more than the first doctor.

Have you experienced any pain behind your ear before the paralysis set in?
No.

Have you been under a lot of stress lately?
Yes.

Do you sleep through the night?
No, I almost always wake up once or twice in the middle of the night.

Do you ever experience shortness of breath?
Now that I think about it…pretty often.

Do you ever have dizzy spells or nausea while sitting or lying down?
Yes! This is actually a recent development.

He then took my pulse and listened to my heartbeat for quite some time. He told me that I have low blood pressure (I already knew that), and added, “Your heart sounds quite exhausted.”

“Excuse me?” I asked. I’m in okay shape – I can run 5 miles straight without much problems.

“You’re under a tremendous amount of stress, and your body is responding to that. Your heart sounds like it’s been constantly beating on high speed for a long time.”

The good doctor told me that my condition is due to a damaged nerve in my brain – it may even be the result of a minor stroke!

“But I’m only 27.”

“It’s more common than you think.”

He told me to lie down and take some deep breaths. He then started sticking various needles on my face and neck, and even a couple on both wrists. “The nerve is most likely permanently damaged. The good news is that our nervous system is like a spider web – you can find another way to the destination. The acupuncture will help re-wire your system.”

He instructed me to continue breathing, and concentrate on one thought only. “It’s nearly impossible to have no thoughts…just try to concentrate on one.”

A few minutes later, he returned and asked if anything felt different. Not much, I told him. He told me to continue my breathing and left the room again.

We repeated this a couple of times, when I noticed that my tongue felt different. It was starting to feel normal again!

I’ve never had acupuncture before, but it really did help. I’ll be repeating my visits with the needles a few more times, and the doctor will also give me some herbal medicine. He instructed me to continue my deep breathing exercises, try my best not to get too stressed out, steer away from situations that may lead to additional stress, and get lots and lots of rest.

He also told me to start chewing gum very slowly on the left side of my mouth to exercise the face muscles. Also, no caffeine. (Grr!)

Before I left, he asked me, “I see that you’re married. Are you planning to get pregnant soon?”

When I told him no, he looked relieved and said that getting pregnant in my condition would most certainly lead to a miscarriage or a very difficult pregnancy, probably leading to an unhealthy baby.

J and I are definitely not looking to have kids anytime soon, but this statement really stung me.

It’s true that I have been under a tremendous amount of stress lately and I confess that I haven’t been feeling my best. But to have my stress level be high enough to maybe even cause a minor stroke, to be declared mentally and physically unfit to have a baby…that really hurt.

I came home and I dissolved into tears.

Then I fell into a deep sleep, and slept a full 12 hours without once waking up.

After my visit to the doctor yesterday my symptoms seemed to get a bit worse. It was most likely all psychosomatic from thinking about it so much, and the hypochondriac’s heaven that is the internet didn’t help at all.

As soon as I got home the accumulated mental exhaustion swept over me and I took a deep nap. J came home with dinner and forced me to eat (I still have no taste on the left side of my tongue and everything tastes a bit funny).

With renewed energy from the food, I began to freak out again.

“I’m pretty sure it’s Bell’s palsy. It’s temporary in most cases, so that’s good. Gawd I hope it’s not Lyme disease…did you know that more than one in four people never get a rash? I have been very tired lately…is it Lyme disease? There’s still a chance that it can be a brain tumor…WHAT IF IT’S A BRAIN TUMOR?!?”

After a bit, J began to get agitated and pretty annoyed with me. He then proceeded to pull an Ah-nold:

“It’s not a tu-muh!!!”

He then sent me straight to bed and refused to let me use my laptop. Bastard. (Hence the no Hump Day Hook-Up post yesterday)

Today my symptoms seemed to have plateaued. At least they didn’t get worse. Thank you for all the messages and wishes (especially Erik, who left me a very encouraging comment!). You’ve all been very encouraging and helpful…except for the one idiot who asked me if I looked like Sloth from The Goonies:

Hardy har har! Very funny! I hate you.

I actually look pretty normal (I think). It’s not a complete paralysis – I haven’t lost total control over my left facial muscles, just some. It’s only when I smile or talk animatedly that you can see a difference. Here’s a shot I took just now with my camera phone:

Crooked smile. One eye just slightly drooping. That’s it.

Other than that, I just have to keep taking my steroids (hmm will I get really buff if I work out?) and be extra careful when eating and drinking so I don’t look like a total R-tard.

I’ll try to write a belated Hook-Ups post later today.

This past Sunday, I noticed some tingling on my left cheek, with some occasional twitches. I ignored it.

Monday through Tuesday, a numbness began to set in and progressively got worse. The entire left side of my face felt a bit dead and heavy. I constantly touched my face and checked mirrors to make sure nothing was drooping. It wasn’t, but it sure did feel that way.

I then noticed that when I smiled, it was lopsided.

Then I began to lose taste on the left half of my tongue, and my left eye was constantly tearing up with no apparent reason.

I think what really got me scared was this morning (Wednesday), when I was having my daily cuppa joe and the hot liquid began to dribble down the left corner of my mouth.

I called more than 10 doctor’s offices, trying to find one who can see me today. Why was everyone on vacation? Why was no one able to see me for at least another week? A receptionist advised, “If I were you dear, I’d run to the nearest emergency room.”

Well, screw that. I’ve heard enough horror stories from friends to know that NYC ER’s are a game of luck and chance. More often than not, you’d need to wait hours before anyone can see you (unless you were severely injured).

I kept calling more doctors, and I finally found one that was taking walk-ins today.

The doctor asked many questions and did a lot of poking. “Don’t worry, it’s probably temporary,” she said. “But just in case…” I held out my arm as she took several tubes of blood for testing.

“Is it serious?” I asked.

“Like I said, it’s probably temporary and will go away on its own.”

Forever the optimist, I implored, “What’s the worst case scenario?”

“Well, it can be Bell’s palsy. Or Lyme disease. An inflamed nerve. Brain tumor….”

She then noticed the horrified look on my face.

“But don’t worry! In the majority of cases like yours, the paralysis will go away on its own. I’ll write you a prescription for steroids to speed up the recovery.”

She told me to call back on Monday to find out the results of the blood tests. If something’s wrong, they will call me first. Great.

Until Monday, you can find me anxiously waiting near a phone. I’ll be the one with half an expressionless mask.