Jun 15, 2007  •  In Personal, Relationships

The Worst Break-Up

I was reading an article about how break-ups via emails, IM’s, and text messages are on the rise. This made me think back to my worst break-up…

The year was 2001. I had just decided to take some time off from school. I had just gotten out of a draining relationship with my first boyfriend (and first love). There were so many changes in my life that I was in a very volatile, emotional, insecure state.

Then R walked into my life. He was suave, good-looking, and charming. I couldn’t believe that a guy like him liked a shy, plain girl like me. My friends got along with him, my sister liked him, and my parents approved of him. I met his family and they liked me as well. His mother even commented that they need to buy dinner for our friends for introducing us. Needless to say, I soon fell head over heels in love with R.

For my 21st birthday, he took me to a swanky Italian restaurant in the theater district with a prixe-fix menu (I had never been to anywhere like that before and I was impressed). We then headed to a lounge where he immediately ordered a bottle of ’96 Dom Perignon. After toasting my birthday, he told me he had three presents for me. The first was a Precious Moments figurine of a couple in love. The second was a picture of us that he had framed. The third was a diamond necklace. A solitaire with a HUGE diamond. It was his grandmother’s, he said. She had told him to give it to the girl he could see marrying, whenever that might be. Obviously I was shocked and although extremely grateful, I told him that I couldn’t possibly accept the necklace. However, he insisted and I kept it. I never took it off.

Fast-forward a few months, when I made the decision to return to school. Since school was back in Maryland, we became long-distance. After a couple of months, I felt him pulling away. But I held on. We were in love and after a couple of more years of school, we could be together again….or so I thought.

A few weeks before our one-year anniversary, I received an email from a girl who introduced herself as R’s ex-girlfriend. She said she had found my blog, and after apologizing for intruding, she explained how badly R had treated her, including all the lies he had told her. In fact, they were dating when R and I first met. She even told me the specific date when he broke up with her – this was the day after R and my first date. She continued on to say that I seemed like a nice girl and she felt the need to tell me the truth.

Don’t trust him, she warned. He is a liar and a cheat.

I dismissed the warning as the rantings of a psycho ex bent on revenge. I emailed her back and told her that our relationship was great – thanks for the concern but we were fine. I was wrong.

A week or so after I received the email, one of R’s friends IMed me. He confessed that he suspected R was cheating on me. He felt he needed to tell me because we had become pretty good friends ourselves…he didn’t think R would confess to me anytime soon and he felt that it was only right that I know what’s going on.

I immediately called R, but he didn’t answer since he was at work. A few (anxious and long) hours later, I saw him online. I asked him to call me but he said he preferred to talk online since he was still at the office. I confronted him about what happened. He didn’t deny anything.

“Are we breaking up?” I asked him.

“I guess so,” he answered.

I begged him to reconsider. I told him that we can work things out.

He then said he needed to finish his work for the day. He said we’ll continue this conversation later that night when he’s home. He said he’ll call me as soon as he got home.

He never called.

So yes, I’ve been dumped via IM…just a week shy of our 1-year anniversary.

I’m not sure why, but I checked out all the stories his ex-girlfriend had relayed… they were all true. He had lied to me about several big things also.

Weeks later, after much tears and heartbreak, I visited a jewelry store out of curiosity. After examining the necklace in a huge machine, they politely informed me that the stone was fake.

What do you consider your worst break-up? Would you ever break up with someone via email, IM, or text message?

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