Yesterday was a cool yet pleasant day. With temperatures in the low 50s and the sun shining overhead, I decided to take Aerin for a walk despite my lingering cold. (Claire was with her grandparents.)
We walked the 22 blocks to my favorite children’s park and I sat Aerin down on a swing. She hadn’t been there since the temperatures took a dip, so she was obviously over the moon with glee.
As I continued to push my giddy daughter on the swing, I noticed another mom with her baby…
Now, other moms will attest to the fact that making mommy friends is hard. It’s like dating all over again, except that — in my experience, at least — moms can get a lot more catty than single men.
But this mom seemed nice enough, so I took a deep breath and introduced myself.
It turns out that the family lives in the next town over. They got married a couple of years ago and had their baby earlier this year, and this mom too had trouble making good mommy friends in the area!
We had a pleasant chat together, and we even exchanged emails for future playdates.
Yay! I had found a new mommy friend!
(image source)
After we returned home and I put Aerin down for her nap, I decided to be a creepy stalker and looked up my new friend on Facebook. I was almost certain that we had at least one friend in common — you see, I have a theory that Asian Americans are separated by only three degrees, not six, because everyone seems to know each other somehow, especially here in the tri-state area.
Her Facebook profile wasn’t hard to find. And yes, we did have a couple of friends in common!
I clicked on over to her full profile page…
…then my jaw dropped.
She is married to my ex-boyfriend!!!
The breakup was NOT amicable and we had ended things on a very sour note. There was no way in hell that our families can comfortably hang out together.
I also felt a bit defeated, because I had gone to the park in yoga pants, an old hoodie, with no makeup and my hair a mess. Add to that my red and runny nose from this darned cold. Oh why oh why oh why couldn’t I have met her when I looked more polished?
(And to those thinking that I must still have feelings for my ex based on the paragraph above, I’m sorry to disappoint you. After all, what woman doesn’t want to be prettier/thinner/smarter/funnier than her ex’s current wife or girlfriend?)
But seriously, guys…
What are the chances??!!!
Jill
That’s so weird. And so SAD!!! I’m sorry your new friend isn’t going to work out. Ugh. Men.
Mina
oh bummer about not being able to hang out! i can’t believe the coincidence.
JJ
OK, thats just crazy. Ughhh- I bet you had to laugh when you found out – will you end up calling her or just letting it sort itself out by *not* calling? Bummer!
Geek in Heels
Well we only exchanged email addresses, not phone numbers. I definitely won’t email her, and I hope she doesn’t email me! (And if she does, I’ll just rudely ignore it.)
Sherrie
haha come on! Be a good Christian, it’s about forgiving and being forgiven. Besides, she’s not the one with whom you broke up. I’m not advising you to be friends or whatever, but ignoring a mail-which-may-or-may-not-come seems like you’re enforcing his reasons for dumping you (may be his story to her after she googles you~)
Geek in Heels
Haha, you’re right — I think I’d prob end up waiting a couple of days trying to ignore it, but my conscience will win out at the end. I’ll prob just explain to her what I discovered on FB, and tell her that I just don’t feel comfortable.
…But I’m really hoping that she never emails! (A lot of moms will meet, exchange contact info, and never call/email/text…it’s a very common occurrence.)
Christine
That is crazy! I cannot believe it. but maybe this is a good sign that there are more mommy friends to come!
Geek in Heels
Yes, I’ve decided to be more proactive in trying to meet new playmates for Claire & Aerin by signing up for Meetup groups and such.
Carol
Oh no!!! But… at the same time… dude. Whatever. You’re kinda famous! HAHAHA
serena
Oh man!! Bummer that didn’t work out – but small world, indeed!!
Amy Valentini
It truly is a small world. Don’t you just hate it! : )
Jean
Oh, that’s a bummer! 🙁
By the way, you mentioned in your post that meeting other moms is harder than dating. In what ways do you find it challenging? I’m about to be a first time mom and looking to make new mom friends.
Geek in Heels
I think that the most common problem is moms judging each other and their kids. Breastfeeding vs formula; the types of stroller, carrier, toys, and such; co-sleeping; attachment parenting; vaccinations…the list goes on and on. I know most people are aware that whatever works for each family should be fine, but it’s hard to remember that when parenting seems so competitive these days.
There are also questions like “Should I call first?”, “Am I being too forward?”, “I liked her at first but now I don’t…how do I let her down gently?” — you can’t deny that this is VERY similar to dating!
The Asian Pear
Wow. That’d be awkward if you see her again in the park though… What will you say?!?!
Jane
I admit you have some of the funniest stories. And I totally agree with you on wanting to appear better than your ex’s current significant other. It’s weird yet it’s natural to feel this way, haha. But for real, Jenny you really are a beautiful blogger with or without make-up ^^
Amy
Did she end up emailing you?
I would totally feel the same way with my ex-boyfriend’s wife (our break-up was completely sour a million years ago and I do not have any feelings for him)!
A
That’s amazing. Sounds like a nightmare though, if the ex is someone that’s not such a great person and that you’d rather avoid. But thanks for letting me that Korean drama story lines CAN happen in real life!