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Comang, Depression, Personal

Not Alone

Mar 31. 2009

Sometimes the worst thing you can do for a person suffering from depression is to leave him or her alone. I am well aware of this fact. However, as a natural introvert I shy away from company and gravitate toward the comforts of solitude. Where I can be alone with my thoughts of despair and disarray. So it is fortunate timing that I am no longer alone 24x7. Wait, not fortunate, but gracious. God must've known this would come up. You can never get anything past Him, I tell ya. Well before our coming forth with my depression, our pastor's family asked two favors of us, both of which can only help me on my way to recovery. The first was to ask me to...

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Geek in Heels
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Christianity, Depression, Personal

Accountability

Mar 30. 2009

The last time I sought help for my depression, I went through a slew of psychologists and psychiatrists. Having grown up in the church, I even visited a few Christian therapists. The one I ended up choosing was not Christian; rather, she was a prim and proper Jewish woman with a smooth, articulate voice that managed to cut through all the BS in my life. Unlike other therapists who were prone to asking, "So how does that make you feel?" or "What do you think that means?" she actually analyzed my thoughts and reactions, often giving her opinion and advice on top of my jumbled interpretation of events. She was not afraid to chastise me, which made me shed quite a few...

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Geek in Heels
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Personal

Woke Up This Morning Afraid I Was Gonna Live

Mar 30. 2009

The first stage is denial. The signs are all there: insomnia as well as bouts of 14+ hour sleep marathons; withdrawal from social interactions; resistance to activities I once enjoyed; my emotional health taking a toll on my physical health; and a general indifference to the joys of life. And the crying. Oh, the crying. The first stage is denial. Long ago, a friend told me that I had a "paste-on smile." When I questioned the meaning behind this phrase, he pointed out that I had a very nice smile, but it always made him wonder what I was hiding underneath. I had divulged to him some of my darkest thoughts and fears, you see. I flash my "paste-on smile" to the public. Even to J....

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Geek in Heels
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Beauty, NYC, Personal

My Vixen Nails

Mar 21. 2009

Last night's girls night out was one of the craziest in recent memory. I won't go into too much details, but suffice it to say that I stumbled home at an unreasonable hour and spent a good portion of the morning hugging the toilet. Although we had made dinner plans, my friend E told me to meet her for $10 manis & martinis at Beauty Bar. I had read about this establishment before but it had seemed a bit too "girly" for my tastes. In addition, I hadn't had a manicure in about a decade - I have an issue with strangers touching me (I even refuse to get facials or massages) and I was a bit nervous. However, I was in dire need...

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Geek in Heels
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NYC, Personal

‘The Great Buck Howard’ Premiere

Mar 18. 2009

I am a full week late, but here's a short recap! We didn't actually see the film at the premiere. Apparently, none of the celebrities or Hollywood insiders actually watch the film at the premiere - they're mostly there for press, publicity, and the party. So on Monday evening, the night before the premiere, we attended a private screening of the film. I loved it. It was exactly my type of movie - cute, quirky, and fun. I was so, so proud of Marvin (the executive producer of the film) and thankful that I have the opportunity to work with such great talent. The next night, Tuesday the 10th, was the night of the premiere. (On a side note, thank you for your help on...

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Geek in Heels
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