One year ago today — at 9:20am, to be exact — our Aerin Isabel entered this world. You have taken me through laughter and tears. You have encouraged me to take life less seriously. But most of all, you have taught me that while there is no way to be a perfect mother, there are a million ways to be a good one. Happy birthday, my sweets. May you never lose the joy with which you embrace your life. Love, Your Proud Mother...
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As long-time readers can attest, I was a late bloomer. Bullies who teased me for being different, my extremely awkward teen years, and a mixture of social ineptitude and general naïveté — combined with a first boyfriend who would tell me things like, “You’d be hot if you lost some weight” — led to my having very, very low self-esteem up to my early twenties.
Then came the summer of 2001. I had just broken free of the aforementioned relationship. I joined a gym and toned up. I was finally able to develop my own sense of style and began to favor form-fitting clothes in lieu of the baggy oversized t-shirts which had hidden my figure for the first two decades of my life.
There was a moment that summer, as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, that I finally admitted to myself, “Hey, I’m not so horrible-looking.”
I can still vividly recall the very first time a guy hit on me at a bar. I had earlier noticed the handsome stranger who sat at the table next to mine, and I couldn’t believe my luck when he sauntered over and offered to buy me a drink.
He had chosen me — over all the beautiful, skinny, scantily-clad girls in the room!
I soon partnered with my best friend, who had also recently gotten out of a long-term relationship, and began to visit the bars and clubs in NYC Koreatown — where we knew we would not be carded, as we were still just shy of legal drinking age — more frequently.
Sometimes we would hit the bars 3, 4 times a week. And did I mention that my friend is a gorgeous babe who used to model? (Another reason for my low self-esteem: I have very attractive girlfriends.) I can’t remember a single time we went out — just us two — when we didn’t get approached by guys.
Soon, we grew cocky and even started going out without cash, confident that we’d find guys who would buy our drinks for us. (And we always did.)
New York Asians may remember a Korean club called MK. I’ve been to that place WAY too many times.
I would say that this was the period in my life when I felt the sexiest. I know that feeling sexy shouldn’t depend on attention from the opposite sex, but for me — a quiet, nerdy girl who had just gotten out of her shell — it did.
There's an episode of Ni Hao, Kai-Lan which revolves around Tolee's relationship with his stuffed panda bear, Pandy. In this episode, titled "Pandy's Puddle," Tolee the koala bear is utterly devastated when Pandy falls into a muddy puddle, and as a result must be separated from its owner to take a spin in the washing machine. This is the only episode of Ni Hao, Kai-Lan that Claire cannot watch. To further clarify, this is the only episode that is forbidden from being played at our house. Why, do you ask? It's because Claire relates so much to Tolee and his attachment to Pandy (see: Claire's Lovey) that she, too, gets upset when Tolee begins to miss his inanimate friend. I know that...
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Can you believe my Claire Emmanuelle turns 2 today? Earlier this week, I had a flashback of myself dozing off in the recliner, holding her tiny swaddled body as she slept on my chest — because for about a month or so, this was the only way she would sleep during the night. And now — just last night, in fact — she was dancing and running around the dance floor at a wedding, already chasing after boys. She tests my patience. She annoys me with her "Umma...
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Yesterday, I experienced one of the deepest disappointments in my experience of motherhood thus far. Yesterday, Claire got physically violent toward her younger sister. Aerin was trying to climb onto Claire's chair — the seat she practically considers to be her throne — and Claire expectedly became upset. She then proceeded to KICK Aerin. It wasn't so bad. It was more of a slow shove with the foot than an actual kick, and I was right behind Aerin so she fell into my lap. Aerin seemed unfazed by the event and went about as if nothing had happened. But while the kick/shove did not cause any physical harm to my younger daughter, I felt as if I had been kicked in the chest. J and I...
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