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A Toast to the Bride and Groom

Wow. What a fun and exhausting weekend! Would you believe it's taken me this long to recover? Yeah, I'm an old, tired fart. :-P As those who live along the East Coast of the U.S. are aware, this past weekend saw the arrival of the first tropical storm of the annual hurricane season. And just as luck would have it, the worst of the storm passed through us directly on my sister's wedding day. I remember saying to numerous people that morning, "It's a good thing it's raining so hard right now — hopefully that means the storm will have lightened up in time for the wedding." I was wrong. My sister had rented a large house for the event, with the intention of holding...

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Only When It’s Gone…

Last year, I had an unfortunate accident which led to a herniated disc in my neck. I obviously could not take care of both girls by myself with the injury and its corresponding treatments; I ended up staying at my parents' in the suburbs for almost 2 months so that they and my sister could help me on my road to recovery. Once I recuperated  I remember returning home to a cold, dark place that — for a lack of a better word — was a complete pigsty. J sheepishly confessed, "I didn't realize just how much work you do around the house until you were gone." I have been replaying that phrase over and over again in my head this past week....

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From Dating to Messaging to Texting

Over the weekend, I read a NYTimes article titled The End of Courtship? which questions the new millennials' methods of dating — or, in this case, not dating. Instead of dinner-and-a-movie, which seems as obsolete as a rotary phone, they rendezvous over phone texts, Facebook posts, instant messages and other "non-dates" that are leaving a generation confused about how to land a boyfriend or girlfriend. Traditional courtship — picking up the telephone and asking someone on a date — required courage, strategic planning and a considerable investment of ego (by telephone, rejection stings). Not so with texting, e-mail, Twitter or other forms of "asynchronous communication," as techies call it. In the context of dating, it removes much of the need for charm; it's...

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How Did You Know?

A friend recently asked me how I knew J was "the one." My answer? I didn't. I don't believe in soulmates. I believe that marriage is damn hard. And I believe we are continually evolving as people so that the person you married 3/5/10/20 years ago may not necessarily be the same person with whom you vowed to spend the rest of your life. But what I did tell my friend was that my relationship with J started out differently than all my past relationships. For one, we were friends first...

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Memories from My 32nd

So Claire surprised me with a bouquet of flowers on my birthday. (Her grandparents had paid for it, but they told me that she had picked it out and she presented it to me while shouting, "Heppy buh-she-dey umma!") Of course I immediately placed the flowers in a vase and displayed them prominently on our kitchen table. And I guess Claire understands the concept of birthday gifts, because she would continually point to the flowers and say, "꽃!" (kkot, or flower in Korean) "Umma buh-she-dey!" "That's right, you gave them to umma for my birthday. Thank you!" I would reply. Then she would nod proudly, smile, and walk away. Well, after about the fifth time she did this, she looked a bit thoughtful, then added,...

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Wednesday Rewind: The 10 Levels of Intimacy in Today’s Communication

Once in a while, when I get bored, I like to look through the archives of this blog and reflect upon (and laugh at!) all the things I have shared with the web over the years. Because, heck, after 1,801 posts, even I don't remember everything. There's also the braggart in me who likes to shout, "Hey! I once wrote this years ago! You should go check it out because I think it's awesome!" (Or the part of me that likes to roll her eyes and exclaim, "Well, if you had read my blog you would know I had written about this in the past!") So I have decided to start sharing with y'all certain posts from this blog's vault of archives. I can't promise that this...

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What Are the Chances?!?!!!

Yesterday was a cool yet pleasant day. With temperatures in the low 50s and the sun shining overhead, I decided to take Aerin for a walk despite my lingering cold. (Claire was with her grandparents.) We walked the 22 blocks to my favorite children's park and I sat Aerin down on a swing. She hadn't been there since the temperatures took a dip, so she was obviously over the moon with glee. As I continued to push my giddy daughter on the swing, I noticed another mom with her baby...

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Feeling Sexy as a Mom

As long-time readers can attest, I was a late bloomer. Bullies who teased me for being different, my extremely awkward teen years, and a mixture of social ineptitude and general naïveté — combined with a first boyfriend who would tell me things like, “You’d be hot if you lost some weight” — led to my having very, very low self-esteem up to my early twenties.

Then came the summer of 2001. I had just broken free of the aforementioned relationship. I joined a gym and toned up. I was finally able to develop my own sense of style and began to favor form-fitting clothes in lieu of the baggy oversized t-shirts which had hidden my figure for the first two decades of my life.

There was a moment that summer, as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, that I finally admitted to myself, “Hey, I’m not so horrible-looking.”

I can still vividly recall the very first time a guy hit on me at a bar. I had earlier noticed the handsome stranger who sat at the table next to mine, and I couldn’t believe my luck when he sauntered over and offered to buy me a drink.

He had chosen me — over all the beautiful, skinny, scantily-clad girls in the room!

I soon partnered with my best friend, who had also recently gotten out of a long-term relationship, and began to visit the bars and clubs in NYC Koreatown — where we knew we would not be carded, as we were still just shy of legal drinking age — more frequently.

Sometimes we would hit the bars 3, 4 times a week. And did I mention that my friend is a gorgeous babe who used to model? (Another reason for my low self-esteem: I have very attractive girlfriends.) I can’t remember a single time we went out — just us two — when we didn’t get approached by guys.

Soon, we grew cocky and even started going out without cash, confident that we’d find guys who would buy our drinks for us. (And we always did.)


New York Asians may remember a Korean club called MK. I’ve been to that place WAY too many times.

I would say that this was the period in my life when I felt the sexiest. I know that feeling sexy shouldn’t depend on attention from the opposite sex, but for me — a quiet, nerdy girl who had just gotten out of her shell — it did.