Jun 15, 2011  •  In Funny, Geek, Web

If Programming Languages Were Boats

I happened upon this hilarious post over at CompSci.ca Blog. It has certainly led to some great comments as well as some friendly debating among CS nerds…


Turing would definitely be a kayak. It’s small. It’s human powered. It’s often used as a beginner “boat.” And it’s also very Canadian.

photo by naokomc


Java is a cargo ship. It’s very bulky. It’s very enterprise~y. Though it can also carry a lot of weight. Will carry a project, but not very fun to drive.

photo by cfarivar


Perl is a tugboat. Powerful enough to tug Java around, in 80 characters or less.

photo by xeeliz


Ruby is difficult to describe. It’s sleek, sexy, and very fun to drive. Here’s a picture. Very trendy.

photo by Tony Falcon


C is a nuclear submarine. The instructions are probably in a foreign language, but all of the hardware itself is optimized for performance.

photo by Ryan C. McGinley


HTML isn’t really a programming language boat.

photo by ascendeddaniel

Personally, I was surprised that Python was left off the list. But I was delighted to see what commenter “jpc” wrote:

Python would be a catamaran. Light and functional, with conspicuous spacing.

What kind of boat would your favorite programming language be?

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6 Responses to “If Programming Languages Were Boats”

  1. Joe says:

    I would’ve characterized Perl as an amphicar: loved by enthusiasts that see it as something that can do everything, seen for its leaks and unfriendliness by everyone else.

  2. Joe says:

    C#: see Java, named U.S.S. Microsoft.

  3. Diego Russo says:

    What about assembly? I think that assembly could be the swimming 🙂

  4. Leonardo says:

    And PHP ????

  5. Hayden says:

    Php is a junk… It seems to do the job but you dont know what anything is named

  6. Larry Battle says:

    APL is a like a Guitar boat. It’s strange but you’ll get there.

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