As much as I b*tch and moan about how difficult it is being a mother, I know that I am not in this alone. And I know that it must be just as difficult for him…if not worse at times.
Because I can’t fathom how frustrating and upsetting it must be when you have been trying your darndest to soothe your hysterically crying baby, only to have her immediately calm down once she is in her mother’s arms — because after all, the baby had been living inside the mother for almost 10 months and intimately knows her voice, scent, and even her breathing rhythm from birth, while all she may recall about you from the womb are the muffled sounds of your voice.
Being a father must be just as heartbreaking when you work all day, away from your family to provide for them, and your own child starts crying at the sight of you because she has started to equate your presence at night with bedtime.
J with Claire in the early days
So I just want to take a moment to tell J, and all the new fathers out there, that it will get better. Your children will begin to look forward to your coming home from work with great anticipation every night. They will grab at your legs and refuse to let go. They will ask for “one more please?” as you dance with them with their little feet on yours.
And there will be — numerous times throughout their lives — when YOU will be their favorite person in the whole wide world.
Just keep doing what you are doing, and know that we love you and are thankful for you every day.
I love this post – people don’t often talk about those types of things and how hard they must be on dads!
Interesting perspective. I think my husband would say that the hardest part of being a father is dealing with your wife’s hormones, emotional changes, and stress though. For him, in some ways it’s almost as if parenthood comes second-hand, mediated through my experience. This might be because I stay at home with our daughter, while he works full time. I’ve been surprised by how much his experience of parenthood depends on my reactions and decisions though.
This isn’t true for our daughter, though, who adores him and is his small clone in so many ways (it’s actually really funny). As she gets bigger and more independent, his presence and influence has become much more important, which is so nice to see.
Becoming a dad has been the best experience honestly of my life, though I totally get what your saying here. During the first 6 or so months of 2’s life, it was hard doing the going to work and coming home and her not really wanting to be around me. I’m noticing the same thing here with the newborn that she really doesn’t want anything to do with me either. However; now that 2 is well, 2 she comes running when she hears my car come in the drive way and is attached to my hip from the moment I come home until I put her to bed every night, something that I miss when I have to travel for work.
All in all, being a dad might very well be the best thing ever and there is honestly nothing better than hearing 2 scream in glee “Daddy’s home!” each and every day that I come home from work.
My wife sent this article over to me and I am very glad she did. As a father to a little boy that is just over 1 year old, this just made my day.
Thank you so much for your comment. It really warmed my heart to read what you wrote. 🙂
Great post! We have a 3 week old and my husband is really struggling with this!