Oct 14, 2010  •  In Facebook, Guest Posts, Relationships

Guest Post: Does Facebook Kill High School Reunions? My PoV.

Elyssa has been a loyal reader since my Weddingbee days, and when she showed me her own blog I couldn’t believe how great it was!

I did not attend my own 10-year high school reunion for two reasons: (1) I did not like high school and did not need the reminder; and (2) it cost $88/head for hors d’oeuvres and rail drinks…and the venue was a local pub. Plus, as Elyssa states in this post, all the people I wanted to stay in touch with I already did through Facebook and/or other social media sites.

Having just passed that dreaded 10 year reunion from high school last summer, I feel well equipped at giving you my PoV on this article. CNN brings up a point. And it’s pretty simple. If you are able to connect to those people that you haven’t spoken to since graduation through FB, are you still going to go to your reunion? My answer: No, I will not.

I have a FB account. And I am friends with several people from HS. I will be honest. Some of them are “hidden” from my daily feed. Why? Because I don’t know you anymore, but you still wanted to be my friend and I’ve been told its rude to ignore a friend request (but that doesn’t mean that I don’t).

If I haven’t talked to you in 10 years, and I have you hidden on my feed and/or I am not even a FB friend with you (maybe you asked, maybe you didn’t) why would I trek on back to my reunion and pay close to $100 to hang out with you and have a whole bunch of awkward conversations with people that I haven’t seen in 10 years?

Reunions are for really one thing, and one thing only. Don’t go telling me they’re not. I think Romy and Michelle summed it up nicely:

Romy: Michele? Now that I’m looking at this, our lives don’t seem as impressive as I thought.

Michele: They don’t?

Romy: Well, do you think it’s impressive that we’re still single, and we’ve been living together for ten years, and I’m a cashier and you’re unemployed?

Michele: Not super-impressive.

Romy: Then, what’s the point of going if we’re not going to impress people?

You see, if you really haven’t accomplished anything but going to college, graduating from college, and actually having a job and maybe even a significant other, there is no reason to go. None. Maybe if I had graduated from MIT and became an astronaut I could go and boast about how cool I was…but then you’d be the butt of jokes for the next ten years. Reunions are just inadequacy test for the masses. Who’s pregnant? Who’s going bald? Damn she looks like she lost weight (and not in a good way). Did you hear about Jane getting a divorce? Tsk Tsk. Oh and Billy? He hasn’t had a job now for 5 years and lives in his parents basement.

Yeah. Don’t think those conversations don’t happen. Then you know what you do afterwards? Go out to a bar and get wasted with the 3 people you still do talk to from HS and bitch and complain and gossip about everyone you just spent the last 3 hours with. Totally worth it.

So sorry CNN, I have to say that FB killed the reunion for me because it made me realize that I am still friends with the few I went to HS with for a reason. I’ve weeded out the rest. And that $100 I saved by not going? It’s on my feet. In the way of shoes.

About the Author:

I’m just a girl, living in Seattle. With the boy, J, the dog, Gwen, and the kitty. I love to muse about things that little ole sarcastic me thinks is funny on my blog TwentyFiveFifty.  Pretty simple stuff! Thank you Geek in Heels for letting me guest blog. Congratulations to you and your family!

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8 Responses to “Guest Post: Does Facebook Kill High School Reunions? My PoV.”

  1. Jessica says:

    I just had my 10 year reunion a couple months ago. I was disappointed more people didn't come. We had about 250 people in our graduating class and only about 30-40 people at the reunion. I enjoyed seeing the people that did come, though. I didn't go to impress people (I'm really not that impressive) but just to actually see these people one more time. I was friendly with pretty much everyone in my class in high school, and I've been looking forward to my reunion since graduation day, so maybe that's why. Still, there were people I really wanted to see that didn't come and that made me sad.

  2. Amber says:

    FB is not and never will be real conversation. If you are not really close to someone you get nothing from being their facebook friend. I think going and having some drinks and talking with people you would otherwise not talk to at all and never reconnect with is both interesting and fun. You could end up really clicking with someone you had written off. Facebook does not replace real interaction.

  3. Deanna says:

    as the person who has to plan the reunions. YES!!! we were just talking about this the other day… why come to a reunion and scope out who ended up marrying who/having babies/doing what when you can freely stalk them from your living room couch?! good post ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Megan says:

    My 5 year college reunion is in a month and I'm not going for this very reason – there's an event page for it on Facebook, so I actually already know who's going, and I know that I don't care about most of those people because I'm still in touch with the friends I'd actually want to see! I do think that personality has a lot to do with it, though – I wasn't super outgoing and didn't care about most of those people when I was actually IN college, so why would I now? If I were more friendly, perhaps I'd feel differently ๐Ÿ˜€ Also time might affect my decision, too – I think I'd be more interested in going to my 20 year high school or college reunion, once people actually have lives and have done something besides just get a job, as Elyssa said!

  5. Vee says:

    I still hope to tell everyone at my high school reunion that I invented Post-Its. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. FM says:

    I am on (and love) FB, but I went to both my 10-yr high school and 10-yr college reunions, and so glad I did. As others said, FB supplements but does not replace in-person interactions. My 10-yr high school reunion was awesome because (a) it wasn't that expensive or formal, (b) a couple of good friends from high school (or childhood) went who I am sort of in touch with but hadn't actually seen in a few years, and (c) most of the people at the reunion ended up being…just really cool. Even people who kind of sucked or had sucky lives in high school. It was really nice to see so many people grow up into nice, relatively content people, not the somwhat bitchy and/or un-sober, and/or depressed and/or awkward people they had been. My high school actually has a ton of people who went on to prestigious educations and careers (the classic doctors, lawyers, fancy scientists, academics, etc.), but most of the people who came to reunion have fine but not "impressive" jobs and lives. And that was nice. One favorite story of reunion? Late in the evening, a guy who was pretty popular in middle and high school and always seemed pretty stand-offish was just generally being friendly and sweet, and a bunch of us ladies (kind of tipsy) started confessing to him that we had had crushes on him in middle or high school. He was so shocked and touched, and said that he thought he was the biggest dork back then and didn't understand how he had so many friends other than that he played the right sport or whatever. Such a nice moment. The reunion and afterparties had people hanging out who never spoke in middle or high school. I don't know, it kind of renewed my faith in humanity to see people grow into themselves so nicely and unexpectedly.

  7. First, I love Elyssa's blog and her voice. Hi Elyssa!

    I COULDN'T AGREE MORE! I just went to my 20 year reunion, and to be honest, it wasn't worth it. I actually did enjoy high school to some degree, but I don't stay in touch with people from there, except for FB. FB did ruin it for me in that FB is more effective in the exchange of information. At the reunion, we just had superficial conversations where people just talked about themselves. No depth. And there were several drunken milfs trying to relive their early 20s that they missed because they were busy having children. And then there were the same cliques of people who didn't/couldn't/wouldn't move on from high school. It was a little sad, actually. That's $240 and three hours I'll never get back.

  8. Catherine says:

    I totally agree. I went to my 1o year reunion a few years back and wasn't impressed. I remembered why I never really went to school events in high school and was really embarassed when people asked me what I did and I don't know why. The one good thing about it is that I got in contact with a really good friend I hadn't heard from in 5 years who wasn't on facebook. Now we see each other regularly for coffee.

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