Yesterday, reader Ashley asked in a comment:
Do you have a problem with negative comments? I haven’t noticed any, but you probably delete them.
I am lucky that most of the people who choose to comment here are polite and courteous, if not overly supportive. However, I do get the nasty comment here and there and I must admit that it stings.
That being said, I have NEVER deleted a comment (aside from spam).
Even the ones that have called me names, attacked me for my personal and/or religious beliefs, or were just plain unwarranted.
I do not want the visitors to this blog to feel like they’re being censored. Sure, I may get upset and I will most likely write a rebuttal, but that is the essence of opening up your heart and soul to the internet, no?
I cannot promise that my stance will not change once the baby is born. I may delete overly hurtful comments that are directed at my children (if I get any — knock on wood), only because I feel they should not be punished for their mother’s ramblings. But I am still undecided on this issue and we’ll see when the time comes. Who knows? I might just copy Dooce and create a “Monetizing the Hate” page.
How do other bloggers deal with negative comments? Do you delete them? Fight back? Ignore them?
Good timing on this post!! I posted a comment here the other day (or so I thought), but later when I came back to the post, I didn’t see my comment and I wondered if it had been deleted (it wasn’t even a negative comment). I was too embarrassed to say anything, but I was secretly sad that one of my favorite bloggers had deleted my comment! Who knows what happened…most likely some glitch on my end 🙂
@Lindsey — So sorry this happened! Next time, just comment again and if it’s a duplicate, you can just ask me to delete it.
I can totally see why negative comments would hurt! I also have never deleted a comment, except for spam. And once I see where the spam is coming from, I started skipping those words!
Related to this, though, I read somewhere recently that the best way to get a lot of comments is to either write something controversial or have an incorrect fact. So when I posted a recipe and someone disagreed with how much tahini I used, I got a comment that was a little snarky, but not really rude, about my choice of teaspoon vs. tablespoon. I just laughed because it came a few days after I heard that was a good way to get comments! I did respond, though, and say it’s a personal choice.
Same here, as a person who has owned several blogs the only thing I have ever deleted is spam <3 I am however guilty of retaliation haha, I find it very hard to keep my fingers shut (mouth shut) when it comes to someone posting something overly hateful or mean.
I am a super sensitive, emotional blogger. I don’t handle bad comments well. We’ve been quite lucky to not get nasty comments directly on our blog. (We barely get any xP). But when we get featured on lovelyish, the comments on there can be quite brutal. I just stopped going to lovelyish.
The last time I had a negative comment, I told all my internet friends that I was upset so they went over to my blog and yelled at the guy for being a d-bag. It was awesome.
I do not currently have a problem with rude comments — I guess my blog is a little too bland right now to entice trolling. 😉 But I have dealt with it in the past, and I see it as being similar to the way I sometimes get rude comments or have to deal with rude people in real life. Sometimes you just have to smile and be polite (like when the grocery store checkout girl makes an unthinking comment after hearing that I have seven kids). Sometimes you have to stand up and respond (like when one of my neighbors accosted my son in the street to tell him how much she disagrees with my parenting decisions). And sometimes you have to just remove someone from your life (ie, delete their comments, ban them from your site — fortunately I haven’t had to take such drastic action in real life).
I have never read Dooce’s blog — I’ve seen it, but it just wasn’t my style — but I checked out the link to the Monetizing The Hate page. WOW! I can’t believe the vitriol! Why would anyone want to spend so much time and energy hating on someone they don’t even know? Why not just stop reading her blog? It’s very easy — I don’t read her blog all the time! 😉
@Michelle — That’s a great way to look at comments…I’ll have to keep that in mind for the future!
And yes, I completely agree about Dooce’s haters, or haters in general. If a blogger pisses you off that much, just stop reading their blog. Why put that much energy into hate?