Today’s guest post comes from Angela, who not only is a frequent commenter on this blog but keeps her own fantastic mommy blog as well. In this piece, she talks about an article that made its rounds through various internet mommy hangouts last month. I remember reading the article as well, and feeling a mixture of sadness as well as relief. What was your reaction to it? (And if you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend that you do so now!)
Hi Readers! I couldn’t have been more honored when Jenny asked me to guest blog while she recovers from the delivery of BebeDeux. I have been following this blog for a long time now and am a fan of her honest insights and quirky, varied interests. Who’s with me??
Anyway, not to put a damper on things, but I really wanted to blog about the New York Times article published earlier this month. Did anyone else read, “Notes from a Dragon Mom”, about how one mom is living with the fact that she will lose her son before he turns 3? It completely shook me up. I think I read it every day the week it came out… the words were so powerful to me. I went to bed every night thinking about that mom and her baby boy. I wondered how I would’ve coped if I were in her shoes.
I would walk through a tunnel of fire if it would save my son. I would take my chances on a stripped battlefield with a sling and a rock à la David and Goliath if it would make a difference. But it won’t. I can roar all I want about the unfairness of this ridiculous disease, but the facts remain. What I can do is protect my son from as much pain as possible, and then finally do the hardest thing of all, a thing most parents will thankfully never have to do: I will love him to the end of his life, and then I will let him go.
Those words. I couldn’t (err.. can’t) take it. It was enough to make me run to my daughter and hold onto her with all my might. She must’ve thought mama had gone cuckoo. I rocked her and stroked her hair and said a long prayer thanking God for my healthy, beautiful baby girl.
Parenting, I’ve come to understand, is about loving my child today. Now. In fact, for any parent, anywhere, that’s all there is.
It reminded me of the most powerful and beautiful verse in the bible — “[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8).
Love. Let’s think about that for a second…
As moms, we get judged/questioned for our choices often, but our biggest critic is probably ourselves. Methinks it’s time we give ourselves and each other a break. At the end of their life, they’re not going to remember if the house was in order or if we fed them organic. The best bedsheets and well-crafted toys aren’t going to make all that much of a difference if we weren’t present. What they will hold onto though, are the hugs, the kisses, the “I love you’s”. They’re going to look back and remember the time spent and the love poured down. We do what we can, the best that we can, and hopefully when they have children of their own… they will see that our sacrifices were made willingly and out of incredible, intense love.
How would you live if you knew that your days were limited with the person you love most in the world?What does it mean to live in the present and embrace our todays?
My name is Angela and I’m a first time mom to a 10-month old, rambunctious baby girl who I can barely keep up with. Inevitably, babies are all that’s on my mind lately (whether I like it or not!). I blog about my personal parenting experiences over at BabyChin — don’t be shy, drop by for a visit and say hello! 🙂
Beautifully moving post. Appropriate for this time of year, and any time of year. Thank you.
This just made me tear up. I wrote my own blog post recently about how I judged myself so much as a first time mom. I’m constantly second guessing myself instead of living in the present and enjoying my son, because becoming a mother has given me a ton of insecurity (rather, I probably had it to begin with and it’s showing it’s ugly face now). You are very right…
I know how you feel… one post prior to writing this one (on my own blog), I was actually complaining about how tired I was and how I wished I could “take a break” from mommyhood every once in awhile. Then I read this article and it put everything back into perspective for me…
just read the article and i had to close the office door so that my co-workers wouldn’t see me burst into tears. my boss (a great man) passed away early this year, then my grandpa-in-law passed away last week, then this article… actually everything is pointing to the same direction. if you love someone, let them know NOW. as a working mom of a one year old, i really have to sort out the balance.
I had a crying fest at work too with my boss. She has 6 kids… her 2nd to youngest one has down’s syndrome, and just last year she found out that same son has leukemia. When I shared this article with her, it was on the one year anniversary of when she found out about his cancer. So heartbreaking… life is so fragile isn’t it?…
Love this. Power of love from a mommy is so unbelievable! Makes me look forward to that! 🙂
I’m so looking forward to that day Carol… 😉